“Do you have “Shake It Up Baby?” a guy asked me one day when I was working my high school job at a record store. Yup, I said record store. So, you know this story is a major throwback. I didn’t know of a song, “Shake It Up Baby”, but I’m a huge Beatles fan and had just seen Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, which was topping the box office. I did some quick calculating in my head (my favorite kind, the kind without numbers) and suggested perhaps he was looking for “Twist and Shout”. Blank stare. “By the Beatles.” Still blank. “The one in Ferris Bueller.” “Right. Right.” He nodded. “Shake it Up Baby.” Sigh. When was the last time you shook things up? Because when you do, there are always some bubbles. I’m a routine girl. I run in the morning when the air is cool and crisp and my mind can wander through the day’s events. After my run I dig into my writing. But yesterday after dropping my kids off at school, fully clad in workout clothes, I delayed my run and started writing instead. It was one of those writing sessions where I was focused and in tune and words flowed. They’re not all like that, I promise. But yesterday’s was. Fizz. Due to a series of late nights I’m way behind on sleep, and I’m a girl who needs her sleep. So in the middle of the day I took an hour-long nap. Ahhhh. Crazy, for me, and with my list of to-do’s it felt irresponsible. But I woke rested and sane, and less grumpy. As a result of being more alert, the remainder of my day was more productive. Foam. With four kids, part of my day, usually involves a grocery run. We are always out of something. I’d made a list the night before, had it in my purse and didn’t go. Instead, after school I took the kids to the farmer’s market. They ran around the straw maze and ate apples fresh from the orchard while I grabbed the necessities. We got what we needed and it was way more fun. Bubble. My husband and I try to find a way to “date” every weekend. Sometimes that means going out to dinner. Sometimes our date consists of sitting by the fire chatting while the kids watch a movie in the next room. But between travel and soccer tournaments our weekends have been packed. So last night, Thursday, we had a date. We ate delicious fig and prosciutto pasta with brown butter sauce from the market on our porch and talked and laughed and shared. It was lovely. And it was on a school night. Carbonate.
Maybe you’re the opposite. Maybe you never have a list or a plan or a schedule. And you’re reading along wondering what’s so shaken about any of those occurrences. What if for one day, just one, you made a list before going to the grocery and planned out how you were going to use your day? For you, that might be the shake up you need. Stir. None of those things are radical, but the small changes to my everyday routine refreshed and revived me. Don’t get me wrong. Routine is how I make things work. I can’t skip my runs and the grocery every day. I can’t take naps everyday and have dates on every school night. Our family unit would start to unravel. But every once in a while, it’s exactly what I need to see things through fresh eyes. What about you? Have you shaken things up lately?
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I was blessed to speak last week at an amazing event called Stand Up, Stand Out at Missouri Institute of Science and Technology. We ran out of time at the end of the talk for the usual Q&A session, but several of the college sorority women who were in attendance wrote down questions and handed them to me. Not only were they great questions, but a lot of the questions were things I get frequently asked. Since I didn’t have a chance to answer them then and there, I thought I’d answer them here and now. There were so many great questions; I’m running it as a two-part blog. So imagine you’re sitting at a round table at a ballroom in a university student center. Picture the autumn inspired orange and gold streamers draped across light fixtures. Grab a handful of the brightly colored M&M’s from the glass dish and listen to them tap against each other, and get comfortable for part one. Q: What inspired you to write about/speak to college girls? A: My memories of college life are movie-like. If you ask me about college, a montage with a soundtrack consisting of songs ranging from R.E.M. to Sinead O’Connor to James Taylor plays through my mind. I attended Miami University, which has a picturesque campus. My roommates were my best friends. I was involved in student life, took a summer to study abroad and laughed all the time. That’s the movie version, and the things that first come to mind. But the reality is there were other times to. Memories that would be left on the cutting room floor. Like when my roommates and I fought, and it left me feeling raw and alone, because these were the girls I cared about most, and sometimes I let them down, and sometimes they didn’t understand me, and sometimes I felt isolated. Except for when my strenuous business major called for all-nighters, and team meetings and presentations and I had to schedule my life in fifteen minute intervals, so I would be where I was supposed to be and do what I was supposed to be doing all day, and I was so stressed I felt like I might implode. Except when I had a series of bad relationships and felt sad and dejected and unlovable, and there were more tears than smiles. Now I live in a college town, and am surrounded by beautiful, bright young women full of potential. Girls who are embracing life, and seizing opportunities, and struggling to keep it all together, and look perfect on the outside while they’re dealing with hard-hitting issues on the inside. They confide their stories in me. And so I write for them and speak to them. To share what I learned. To prove to them that they can get through. To let them know they’re not alone. To inspire them. To remind them that they are beautiful and unique and capable of moving mountains.
Q: Do you ever get writer’s block? A: I actually have the opposite problem. I have way too many ideas bumping around in my head. I have books I want to write, characters I long to create, blog topics I’m itching to get down in words. There are certainly times when I’m writing, when I get stuck on a word or a phrase or a scene, but (knock on wood) I’ve never run out of ideas. Q: How did you still believe in love after your parents’ divorce? A: Man, I never once stopped believing in love throughout all of their separations, fights and finally their divorce. My parents’ divorce was about dishonesty and selfishness, insecurity and greed. It had nothing to do with love. If anything it made me crave real love, the kind that builds each other up, communicates, believes in each other, supports one another, edifies one another – the kind of love I’ve found with my husband. My parents’ struggles showed me what I wasn’t looking for, and therefore what I was looking for. And my faith in God has given me the reassurance that God always has and always will love me. He’s shown me an example of perfect love, of sacrifice and concern and compassion. Come back next week for part two. Until then, How about you? Do you have any questions for me? What are your little addictions? Some of mine include: Starbucks, music, nail polish (no chips please, different colors on toes and fingers), exercise (I don’t care with who, or what or when, but I crave it), my phone (sad but true). What are some of yours? Maybe your addiction list includes; nachos, getting all A’s, your job, the beach, your sport/instrument/club/activity, Instagram, your best friend, a TV show, fashion, your boy friend… Our lists could go on and on of the fun little interests, innocent cravings and even important responsibilities and relationships we’re “addicted” to. But when does a passion or interest become an “addiction”? When do these things that fill our minds and hours become modern day idols? WHEN WE OVERDESIRE THEM. See, it’s not the desiring that’s a problem. God created coffee beans and cocoa beans and the guy you have a crush on. He created your brain and your body and wants you to use them to glorify Him. But when our little addictions conflict with or create tension with our family, our wallet, our values, our faith, when our “addiction” becomes more important than God, when we OVERDESIRE it, we’ve got a problem. How do I mean? I often plot out my morning to include a stop by my local Starbucks. I love my coffee. I get excited every morning when the aromatic smell wafts towards my nose, when the bold, rich flavor hits my tongue. And this is okay. God wants us to have pleasure, to enjoy this world and this life. He gave me taste buds that are receptive to the flavor of an iced venti with mocha and nonfat milk. But when I skip my quiet time with Him in the morning to make sure I get a coffee, when I’m late getting my kids to school or I show up late to a meeting, because I “needed” a coffee, this is an over desire. This is a problem. Do you have a friend you adore? Someone who makes you laugh and truly gets you? It’s great to spend time with them, to text them throughout the day about funny things, things you’re stressed about, or to plan adventures or weekends together. But when you lie to someone who’s close to you, so you can go somewhere with that friend or to cover up for that friend, there’s a problem. See the pattern? So how do we rein in our addictions? How do we keep our pleasant little every day desires from becoming something we obsess over? First, ask ourselves if we are seeking affirmation from these things we adore. Because we do sometimes, don’t we? We seek affirmation from the coolest nail art to the fastest time on the 10K to the most followers on Twitter. We do. But truly our entire identity, all of our affirmation should come from Christ who created us. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original. Gal 5:26 MSG Once we wrap our arms around this truth, we need to turn it over to Him in prayer. Once we wrap our arms around this truth, we need to turn it over to Him in prayer. When I have a morning where going to Starbucks will stretch my wallet, make me late, or cause unnecessary stress as I try to squeeze it into a tight schedule, I can pray, “Jesus, You are the only thing that truly satisfies me. Please let me drink you in this day, and feel you working in and through me. Let me taste Your goodness. Amen.” And then I can brew myself a cup in my Keurig and be thankful. When your boyfriend or friend wants you to do something that compromises your values -- whether that’s gossiping or drinking or blowing off an assignment, and you’re craving their acceptance, pray something like this, “Please Jesus, I long for companionship, for love. I know that You are my constant companion, that You love me always. Please remind me of that love. Please fill me up with it. Let me realize it is better and fuller and more satisfying than any earthly relationship.” And then read Bible verses (better yet, memorize a few) that will remind you of these things, that Jesus is enough. That in fact He’s everything we need. That we should crave Him, long for Him, seek Him and seek to please Him, and we will be valued and loved and treasured. Here are some that help me: For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made ~Psalm 139:14 God not only loves you very much but also has put His hand on you for something special ~ 1 Thessalonians 1:4 It matters very little to me what you think of me, even less where I rank in popular opinion. I don’t even rank myself. Comparisons in these matters are pointless ~1 Corinthians 4:3 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. ~Galatians 5:1 My characters in my new novel, It’s Addicting, encounter these very types of addictions -- the fun things that seem innocent enough. Follow college roommates Kat, Claire, Hannah and Palmer as they learn, explore, grow, discover and sometimes fall prey to their over desires in this third installment of the Status Updates series.
What about you? Have any addictions you'd like to share? It’s Addicting, my latest novel, the third in the Status Updates series releases July 14! That’s TOMORROW! HOORAY! Claire, Kat, Palmer, Hannah, and I have been itching to tell you what's going on in their sophomore year of college, and now, we can’t wait any longer. Because I’m so excited about the release, I’m going to give away an autographed copy of It’s Complicated, an autographed copy of It’s Over and an autographed copy of the brand new,It’s Addicting. This is how it’s going to work. We’re going to do a countdown. Today’s day ONE. So today, we’re counting down our favorite reading addictions. It’s Addicting?
We say it all the time right? But the only thing I'm truly addicted to is Christ! For the contest: All you have to do to enter is comment and tell me one of your addictions AND share the link on one of your social media sites. You can comment on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Pinterest, and share any of those ways as well. You can enter once each day of the countdown (limited to five total entries per person), and at the end of the five days, on release day, July 14, I’ll pick three winners – one for each title—via Randomizer. Today is reading addiction day, so tell me what your favorite book or summer read is. Me? I’m currently addicted to The Goldfinch. It's a zillion pages long and totally fabulous, worth every sentence. It makes me want to go back to New York City and visit museums and practice my French and read and read and read. There's a reason it won the Pulitzer this year. How about you? What book are you addicted to right now? Why does it intrigue you? It’s Addicting, my latest novel, the third in the Status Updates series releases July 14! That’s only TWO days away! HOORAY! Claire, Kat, Palmer, Hannah, and I have been itching to tell you what treats they indulge in during their sophomore year of college, and now, we can’t wait any longer. Because I’m so excited about the release, I’m going to give away an autographed copy of It’s Complicated, an autographed copy of It’s Over and an autographed copy of the brand new,It’s Addicting. This is how it’s going to work. We’re going to do a countdown. Today’s day TWO. So today, we’re counting down with our favorite treat addictions. Are you sweet or salty? It’s Addicting?
We say it all the time right? But the only thing I'm truly addicted to is Christ! For the contest: All you have to do to enter is comment and tell me one of your addictions AND share the link on one of your social media sites. You can comment on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Pinterest, and share any of those ways as well. You can enter once each day of the countdown (limited to five total entries per person), and at the end of the five days, on release day, July 14, I’ll pick three winners – one for each title—via Randomizer. Today is treat addiction day, so tell me what your go to summer snack is. Me? Chocolate chip cookies. Always have been. I love to make them from scratch and eat spoonfuls of the dough. I actually like the dough better than the finished product. I know some people prefer salty fries or spicy wings, but me, I have a sweet tooth. As a real indulgence I'll swing by Insomnia Cookies (did you know they deliver?!!!) for a chocolate chunk treat. How about you? What's your treat addiction? It’s Addicting, my latest novel, the third in the Status Updates series releases July 14! That’s only THREE days away! HOORAY! Claire, Kat, Palmer, Hannah, and I have been itching to tell you what coffee drinks their sipping in their sophomore year of college, and now, we can’t wait any longer. Because I’m so excited about the release, I’m going to give away an autographed copy of It’s Complicated, an autographed copy of It’s Over and an autographed copy of the brand new,It’s Addicting. This is how it’s going to work. We’re going to do a countdown. Today’s day THREE. So today, we’re counting down our favorite coffee shop addictions. It’s Addicting?
We say it all the time right? But the only thing I'm truly addicted to is Christ! For the contest: All you have to do to enter is comment and tell me one of your addictions AND share the link on one of your social media sites. You can comment on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Pinterest, and share any of those ways as well. You can enter once each day of the countdown (limited to five total entries per person), and at the end of the five days, on release day, July 14, I’ll pick three winners – one for each title—via Randomizer. Today is coffee house addiction day, so tell me what your favorite order is. Me? I’m currently addicted to venti iced coffees with mocha and nonfat milk. So cool, sweet and refreshing on hot summer days with a kick of caffeine. A fabulous way to start my days. How about you? What's your coffee addiction? I am so excited to share with you my latest release, It's Addicting. It's Addicting releases July 14 in both print and e-book formats from Playlist Fiction. This third installment of the Status Updates series finds four college sophomore roommates finally getting comfy with the routines of dorm life. But Kat, Claire, Palmer, and Hannah soon begin to feel the nagging ache of innocent addictions pulling them away from their true selves. Still, obsessing over perfection, exercise, or a super-cute boyfriend could never be a bad thing—could it? Hang out with these four roomies to see if they can—or even want to—ditch these sneaky little hang-ups before they take over their lives. 'I'm so glad to see Laura L. Smith writing about such serious and important issues. Kudos to her for being brave enough to write the truth. ~ New York Times Best Selling Author, Tosca Lee
It's Addicting tackles real-life issues with raw honesty. This book is something every high-school and college-aged girl should read. ~ Nicole O'Dell, author, speaker, and founder of Choose NOW Ministries Laura L. Smith writes with precision and honesty in the third book of her popular Status Update series. It’s Addicting asks readers to consider their own lives and the blinders we all wear. The college roommates in this book struggle with the most authentic of issues—the sometimes subtle but often overwhelming addictions we all cling to. In the end, the answers aren’t easy or pretty, but Smith, with characteristic gentleness, pushes readers to see that clarity and hope come from one place—a God who seeks us as fiercely as we seek Him. ~Laura Anderson Kurk, author of Glass Girl and Perfect Glass You've got to get yourself together. You're stuck in a rut. And you can't get out of it. ~U2 Ever feel that itch, that urge, that tug inside to change something? It could be your scenery, your haircut, maybe you crave a new identity, even a new phone cover would help at this point. Ever been bored, or exhausted or numb, from your current set of circumstances? Maybe you just finished up your school year and you’re not sure what summer has in store for you. Or the school year seems to be dragging out thanks to all the snow days this past winter. Well, you don’t need to be Jason Bourne and grab a different passport from your safety deposit box to jazz things up. But it is up to you to get out of your rut. Sitting around wishing things would change won’t do the trick. Now some of you change your address or hair color as often as others of us change our socks. To you, there’s no need to make drastic changes, you already do that, daily. But for the rest of us there’s something refreshing, maybe even daring about trying something new. Summer can be a lazy time to fall into old routines, OR a chance to change your perspective and relight your inner spark. It’s up to you. Which one is it going to be? Here are a few ideas to get jump-started:
What about you? Any other ideas on how to spice things up?
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17 “What should I wear today?” So many things factor into my decision -- the weather, my mood, where I’m going or who I’m seeing today. I’ll wear certain clothes for a work out and different clothes for lunch with a friend and a totally different outfit if I’m going out to dinner with my hubby. And even the lunch with a friend outfit, the snappy caz look, totally varies with my mood. Am I feeling funky? Artsy? Classic? Frilly? I’m such a writer nerd I even dress “in character” sometimes when I’m writing. I might wear cowboy boots and a denim jacket like my character, Claire, or a purple scarf since purple is Hannah’s favorite color. It helps me process how they might act, or what they might say. But there is another decision I must make each day as well. Not about what I’ll physically wear, but about what I’ll wear spiritually. Will I put on old habits, and persistent worries? Will I slide on a little judgment or buckle on my ego? When I get dressed spiritually will I pull on fear or anxiety or shame? Or will I clothe myself in Christ? Why should I clothe myself in Christ? For one thing, if I’m clothed in Christ I am surrounded by him, literally wrapped up in Him, cocooned in Him, enveloped by Him. What beautiful imagery to remember I am loved and protected by my Savior. Also, if I’m clothed in Christ, then I always have Him with me. I’ll never leave Him on my dresser or in my other purse or in the car if I’m wearing Him. And if I always have Him with me, well, that’s a really good companion to guide me along my journey. The best. So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. Galatians 3:26-27 NIV And if I’m clothed in Christ, then when others look at me, they’ll see Him. Right? How many times has someone complimented your scarf or your earrings? It’s not because they think you have a stylish neck or gorgeous ears, but others see the things we wear. If we’re supposed to shine Christ’s light, to go out and share the Good News, then why not put on Christ, so others can see Him wherever we go? The really cool thing about being clothed in Christ is that when I wear Christ, I don’t need anything else. He always fits, is always comfortable, never makes me look fat, matches perfectly and makes me feels good all over. When I go running I need running shorts and a t-shirt. But I also need to wear running shoes, socks, and a running bra. I also want a ponytail holder and preferably a headband to keep my crazy hair out of my eyes. But when I wear Christ. I need nothing else. Nothing. In fact when I add anything to Christ I actually take away from Him. If I think anything I can do will help who I am or harm who I am, I’m wrong. Think about it as zipping up the cutest floral sundress and then topping it with a plaid wool coat. Ick! It ruins the whole thing, takes away from how darling the dress was to begin with. A total Fashion Don’t. That’s what we do when we think we should be seen or viewed or valued as our relationship with Christ plus this achievement or plus that good thing we did or have or made. Get out of bed and get dressed! Don’t’ loiter and linger, waiting until the very last minute. Dress yourselves in Christ, and be up and about! Romans 13:14 This all sounds great, as I get ready in the morning. I don’t want anything but Jesus. I read my Bible, jot some thoughts down in my journal, pray too. Hop behind the wheel of my car and crank up Air1. And then it starts, doesn’t it? In line at Starbucks the girl in front of me has her nails painted a beautiful pale pink for spring and her hair is straighter than a ruler. That girl’s nails are gorgeous. I love that color. I should get that color. I thought I liked the new pink I got, but hers is way prettier and how does she get her hair so straight? Does it take her forever? Probably. In my car armed with dark roast with a shot of mocha, I successfully grab some groceries, hit the ATM, fill up my tank with gas and return a stack of library books all in a matter of 45 minutes. I rock. I’m so efficient and organized. I totally multi-tasked, chose out a great route at a quiet time of day to accomplish all of this. I can do it all! Back home at my computer I find an email holding a rejection to a book proposal I’ve submitted. They didn’t like my book? Really? Why? Does it stink? Am I not supposed to write this book? Am I not supposed to write at all? Who made this decision anyway? I can’t do it all! Where’s the chocolate? And an hour after clothing myself in Christ I’ve allowed self talk in my crazy brain to add a scarf of social comparisons, bangle bracelets that clang my praises like a gong and a belt of self doubt and insecurity. I’m only accepting half of His grace. Because when I accept His full grace, I know 100% that I don’t need anything but Him. I don’t need any of those worldly “accessories”. Jesus set me free! He set you free! When He died on that cross all of our past and shame and sins and shortcomings were nailed to the cross with Him. It doesn’t matter what anyone else wears or has or does. It doesn’t matter where we’ve been as long as where we’re going is with Jesus. What matters now is that we love Him and that He loves us. That’s it.
And when we clothe ourselves in Christ, not only do others see His light shining brightly, but also God looks at us and sees that outfit of Jesus. He sees us at our best, as He created us, pure and radiant, like Jesus. It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Gal 5:1 NIV What will you wear today? Don’t be a fashion don’t. Clothe yourself in Christ. Life is full of choices. This morning you probably had to decide what to wear, what to eat for breakfast, and what music to listen to while you were getting ready. You may have noticed, as you get older, the choices you make will have a greater impact on yourself and on others. Some of your decisions are more difficult, have more serious outcomes, like what school to attend, which classes to take, who to hang out with, should you date, what should you do when your friends make bad choices and so many more. Will you make the right choices? To make the right choices you need to equip yourself. There is an incredible free resource for teens and their parents to help guide you through some of these decisions through faith based living. It’s aptly named Choose Now. Choose Now discusses relevant topics including; FRIENDSHIPS and DREAMING BIG and GIRL TALK and DATING and FITNESS and HOLLYWOOD and BEAUTY, but not just about those things, but about how we make the right choices in all of those areas, the choices God longs for us to make, the choices that honor Him. Choose Now has columns by some of my favorite writer friends like Laura Kurk, Nicole O’Dell, Stephanie Morrill and Bethany Jett and podcasts discussing everything from frenemies to Spring Break from the latest nail polish colors to sex. “If you’ve gotta start sometime why not now, if you’ve got to choose somewhere why not here?” Toby Mac I’ve been blessed to be writing a column on Choose Now about True Beauty, one of my favorite subjects, for over a year. But as a result of me being a part of this ministry, I’ve been blessed by the insights of all of the other contributors. It’s too great a resource to keep to myself. I know too many young women and their parents who are grappling with all of these same issues. So if you’re a teen searching for answers or a parent of a teen longing to give her personal space, but also wanting to guide her in positive decision-making, this is a site you’ve got to check out. You owe it to yourself. Here’s the link that will get you to all these free resources in one great place.
CHOOSE NOW And if you like what you see, how this ministry guides teens and their parents to follow Christ’s plans for us, to embrace His love and the roles He’s given us, to stand up for what we believe in and the promises He gave us, here’s how you can help further this ministry. FURTHER THIS MINISTRY BECAUSE REAL LIFE HAPPENS What decisions are you facing today? How do you plan to choose? |
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