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We hear a lot of buzz around the word community. We see it depicted so perfectly in shows like Sweet Magnolias where three women have been best friends since childhood and still share all their dreams and hopes and worries with one another, even starting a business together. But in the real world on the other side of the Netflix screen it’s sometimes more challenging to find those kinds of relationships.  People move, demands on our time and energy are high, and schedules are busy and often don’t match up with people we’d like to connect with. So why should we prioritize community when it feels like it’s out of reach or a lot of work? Community gives us a sense of belonging, a feeling of security and support, and reminds us that we have purpose. Things most of us crave. God’s Word illustrates the importance of community. In the opening pages of the Bible God declares “It isn’t good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). Jesus tells the disciples that if two of them ask for something in His name their prayer will be answered and that if two or three folks gather in Jesus’ name, then He’ll be there with them (Matthew 18:19-20). And the author of Hebrews instructs us to not give up meeting together, but instead to encourage each other (Hebrews 10:24-25).  there's a reason for all this hype around community Mental health research shows that people with a healthy community have lower rates of depression, anxiety, and stress. Yes, please to all of that. So what does this mean for me and you?
 Hebrews 10:24-25 But how?
We’re going to spend the next few weeks talking about some different kinds of community you can engage in and grow in as well as some ways to plug into existing communities or even create your own. Be on the lookout for some emails in your inbox (if you’re not signed up already for my emails–shoot me a message) and my stories on Facebook and Instagram. Meanwhile, I’m praying that we all connect with people who inspire, support, encourage, and point us to the love of Jesus.
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Most of my usual running route is paved through the woods, but my favorite part is the last part–the part that goes off the paved path and onto a path paved only by feet. One day recently when I got to this part, not far along there was a large branch that had blown off a tree in the previous night’s storm blocking my path. I was feeling fairly tired that day, and considered turning around and just heading back to the trailhead and ending my run, but I decided to push myself a little bit further. I paused running long enough to grab the branch and haul it off to the side–off the path and into the woods.  How can you clear the path for someone else? Not much further along there was another branch. This time I felt a nudge to clear it, not necessarily for me, but for whoever might run this trail behind me. It was such a lovely thought. To be able to make someone else’s run or walk or hike a little easier. Maybe for a mama holding a child’s hand or one of the fishermen I sometimes saw in this part of the woods hauling their rods and bait boxes. Perhaps for another runner, trying to make a certain time, so they wouldn’t be slowed down. Or maybe, just so someone else would have it a little bit easier. I was so excited by this idea that I continued even further–more than I’d planned, trotting along and moving branches.  Galatians 6:9-10 It got me thinking about how I could do this not just on the trail, but in life. Who might be coming along behind me that I could clear the path a little bit for, make their way a little simpler? Someone starting out on their mental health journey? A young mama? Or newlywed? A woman wanting to read her Bible “more” but not knowing where to start? Who could you clear a bit of trail for? The teen who plays the sport you did in high school? What do you wish you would have known at that age? The college student worried about majors and internships and what’s next? What advice could you have used? The person starting their own business? In the position you used to hold? Pursuing their certificate or degree? Trying to balance a budget? Buy their first home? Set some boundaries? Try a healthier lifestyle? What do you wish someone would have told you? What have you learned along the way?  Loving others pleases the Lord and boosts your mental health. Clearing the trail for others, obviously helps them. But it also helps us. Serving others eases our stress, activates positive emotions, and can reduce depression and anxiety. Paul urged the church in Galatia (and us), “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone--(Galatians 6:9-10).
It’s important to note, Paul got that memo from Jesus. Jesus tells us on repeat to love one another. And making someone else’s path a little clearer looks a lot like love. We all have life experiences. Failures and victories we’ve learned from. And people who helped us get where we are. What if each of us took a few moments today, it doesn’t have to be a big thing, to pause whatever we’re running towards to clear a branch or two out of the way for the person a few steps behind us? A year and a half ago my friend Kristin noticed a trail near her house was called “Daffodil Trail” but there was not a single daffodil on it. She decided to change that. She rallied a couple of friends, bought hundreds of daffodil bulbs, and went on a stealth mission. Can you picture it? A handful of middle aged women all dressed in black sneaking onto a trail predawn and planting bulbs with the Mission Impossible theme song playing? Dun dun dun da dun dun…  Daffodil Trail And in March of last year that trail was popping with golden blooms. Kristin said, “We went down there to check them out, and we literally squealed with joy when we saw all the daffodils.” Kristin went to be with the Lord in May after a brave battle with pancreatic cancer. But she left her mark of beauty on this world. On my life. On so many lives. And in so many ways. In part with some flower bulbs. Daffodils come back year after year meaning anyone who walks along Daffodil Trail this year or ten years from now will be overwhelmed by the sunny yellow beauty and think it was always that way, because shouldn’t it be? I want to be like Kristin and create more beauty in this world. The Apostle Paul told Timothy he wanted people to be “doing something beautiful for God and becoming beautiful doing it” (1 Timothy 2:10 MSG). Yes! Let’s do that. Let’s do something beautiful for God today and as a result become more beautiful.
We can add beauty to the world in a million ways. We can give a hug or a compliment. We can bake bread or brownies. We can write a song or a sonnet. We can clean out a garage or a drawer. We can paint a picture or a wall. We can string fairy lights on our porch or light a candle and fill a room with the beautiful scent of vanilla or lavender. Listen, you don’t need me to tell you there are some really ugly things in our world. There is hate and racism and war and violence and injustice and disease and jealousy and greed. But you and me? We have the opportunity to make things more beautiful. To shine Christ’s light and grow beauty all around us.  How will you create some beauty today? And it’s interesting, because when we take the time to create beauty, when we invest in making the world more beautiful by buying the bulbs or putting sprinkles or glitter on top, by playing the music or planning the outfit or laughing out loud, we feel better too. God reminds us of how much He loves us and all the goodness He has for us. Bonus, creating beauty boosts our mental health.
Ready? Let’s do it. Let’s create some beauty for our good and for God’s glory. I’m one of those word-of-the-year-girls. You? For 2023 I felt God telling me I needed to say, “Yes!” more often. Not to any old thing to fill my time or tickle my fancy, but to the things He was putting in front of me. I wrote Y-E-S in chalk on the framed slate I have in my office, penned, “Say yes, yes to the God of Israel!” (Joshua 24:23) at the top of each week in my planner before planning out the week, and when opportunities arose I prayed through them. But when I was waffling, I continuously heard God whispering in my heart, “Say yes. Say yes to me.”
And so I did. I said yes to pitching a new book idea. I said yes to some incredible speaking engagements. I said yes to sharing my feelings and joining an awesome Bible study group. I said yes to visits with friends and silent prayer time in the middle of the day and trips and counseling appointments and taking days off to rest and learning more about Jesus and dates with my husband. I said yes to getting coaching and trying something new and asking questions and treating myself. Over and over again I said yes to Jesus and the goodness He had for me. I even journaled about the yes-es I said, because I’m also that kind of girl. We do have to be careful about our yes-es. We should rarely, if ever, and then only under extreme circumstances, say yes to things that aren’t healthy for us mentally, physically, or emotionally. We should never say yes to impress somebody or because we feel like we have to or when we honestly don’t have the bandwidth to honor a yes. But God has so much goodness for us and loves to delight us. I fear we turn down so much of the loveliness He has for us.  Joshua 24:23 MSG What if in 2024 we said yes to: spending more time in our Bibles veggies and fruit getting enough sleep taking time to pray reaching out to a friend a bite of chocolate walks in the sunshine setting healthy boundaries hugs journaling running through the sprinklers apologizing staying hydrated going down slides What if we turned to Jesus and asked Him, “What do you think?” And when He gives a nod, we say, “Yes!” Not sure when to say yes or no. Try using this verse as your guide: Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice (Philippians 4:8). What if we didn’t just think about these things but said yes to them!  click on the link or image to download your FREE guide Something else we can all say YES to this year is taking care of ourselves. We are created in the very image of God–self care isn’t selfish. It’s Biblical. I’ve created a FREE guide to get us started. Just click HERE to begin Biblically caring for yourself in this new year.
I’d love to hear--drop a comment: What are some things you’ve said yes to? How will you care for yourself in 2024? Do you have a word for the year? If so, what is it? For more inspiration find me on Facebook and Instagram While on vacation our family went to Mellow Mushroom for trivia night and their delicious pizza (I love the Great White with sundried tomatoes, fresh basil, olive oil and ricotta). The Trivia Master asked questions about Taylor Swift, what kind of car Knight Rider drove, the ingredients in soy sauce, how high fleas can jump, and so many more. I knew the answers to some questions like: Who sang “Chain of Fools”? Aretha Franklin. And some I had zero idea like: Who was the first president to live in the White House?  The super fun interior of Mellow Mushroom with bikes hanging from the ceiling. But I didn’t have to know about the White House, because my 17-year old son is a history buff and loves presidents. He whipped John Adams out of his brain faster than kids jump in the pool when the lifeguard blows their whistle signaling adult swim is over. I also didn’t need to know about baseball or bones because my mom, daughters, and husband knew all kinds of trivia I was clueless about. And when none of us knew the answers, we laughed at the ridiculously obscure questions and made silly guesses. It didn’t all depend on me. I wasn’t fully responsible. No one expected me to have all the answers. Because I had a team. The same holds true for life. You don’t have to have all the answers, run damage control, sort through the emotions, or do all the work by yourself. God never intended for us to do life alone. As soon as God finished making the first human, God said, “It’s not good for man to be alone.” Then God immediately made Eve, so Adam wouldn’t have to do life solo. God knew from the get go we are better together. And yet…  Genesis 2:18 We wrestle with decisions all by ourselves not wanting to inconvenience or worry the people around us. We start something new and hesitate to share our ideas or dreams, because we don’t want to be critiqued or dismissed. We try to do all the things for all the people without asking for help, because we don’t want to let anyone down. Or maybe we just like things done our way. Or maybe we’re plain stubborn. We keep our mental health struggles to ourselves, because we worry what others might think, or because we don’t want to be a burden. We try to figure things out solo, because surely we’re clever enough to do so or we don’t want to appear weak or less than. But what if someone could give us helpful tips or lend a hand or carry some of our load or be a safe place to process? It is not good for man (or woman) to be alone. We are currently experiencing an epidemic of loneliness noted by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services in a recent report as something that’s “damaging the health of individuals and our society.” The report goes on to state, "Relationships help our overall well-being, and lead to healthier and more fulfilled and productive lives.” Being alone increases our risk of dementia, depression, heart disease, anxiety, and stroke. As God was saying, “It’s not good for people to be alone.” Listen, I’m an introvert, so doing things solo is my natural tendency. And I’m a writer, so my job largely consists of stringing words together on my laptop–by myself. So, I need to be intentional about not isolating. I have to schedule walks and coffee dates with friends. I have to make an effort to blurt feelings and ideas out around the table or on the phone with people I love and trust. And when I share what’s on my mind, what I’m excited about, what I’m struggling with, what I’m dreaming and scheming and praying about with close, trusted friends or family, I’m a better version of myself. I get support and insights and ideas. I’m asked great questions, given wise suggestions, and feel seen and heard. People pray for me and check back to see how things are going. I receive love. And it’s beautiful. You can have all this too!  Working together, we won the first round of trivia--and got $20 off our pizza that night. What’s going on in your life? What are you most excited about? Struggling the most with? What’s your first thought when you wake up? The thing that’s keeping you up at night? The thing you’re praying your heart out about?
Does anyone know about it? Why not? Try inviting someone you trust, someone who loves Jesus and will keep you pointed toward Him into what’s occupying your time, heart, and mind. Ask for help if you need it or get it off your chest or explain that you just really need someone to listen. It will do wonders. God has always intended us to share our lives. Friendship appears over and over in the Bible as a way people got through some extremely high highs and low lows. King David had his best friend Jonathan. Ruth had Naomi. Jesus surrounded himself with the disciples. We weren’t meant to do life alone. We’re better off when we share the struggles, triumphs, and even random ideas of our lives with others. Who knows, if you do, you might even win at trivia. For more inspiration find me on Facebook and Instagram We had a big change in plans, and I was going to be gone a lot in the coming months. Also there were travel details that needed to be tended to immediately, plus I had texts and emails I needed to respond to. Did I mention I didn’t get enough sleep last night? My chest tightened and my pulse raced. The irrational thought of, “NO! It’s too much!” repeated in my mind and my stomach flipped then flopped. I’ve heard a million times, “to hold every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5).” Are you familiar with this Bible verse? I believe it’s a great strategy, but often oversimplified. Just telling these thoughts not to exist, just holding them tight and not letting them spiral is a start, but not usually enough to bring me back to God’s beautiful reality. I tried. I tried dismissing the anxious thoughts while answering an email. I tried pushing them to the back of my head while tending to the details. But putting these thoughts in a cage wasn’t getting it. Because I could still see them there, pacing around behind the bars, taunting me. I felt a nudge to spend time in prayer, but dismissed it. I got the nudge again, this time obeyed, and plopped myself on my fluffy gray prayer pillow.  My prayer pillow I started talking to Jesus about the whole thing. Why do I feel this way? These are all good opportunities. They aren’t too expensive or too far or too much, but they feel like it and also like way more than I can handle. Everything feels like too much. Like it’s out of control, and I want it to stop. My heartbeat quickened as I relayed this all to God. It’s a control thing, God pointed out. Right. I really prefer to be in control. You were never in control, Jesus reminded me. I promise, you think you want to be, but you don’t really. It’s so much better that I’m the one keeping the planets in orbit and your heart beating. Good point. Jesus and I talked like that for a while. He directed our conversation, so I could see what was happening and why. He showed me why my thoughts took this turn, then reminded me of ways He’d been there for me in the past and of how much He loved me. Jesus planted the words trust and release in my mind. Trust and release. The words echoed in my head. I meditated on them. It made me picture myself spreading out my arms and falling backward into a pool, Nestea plunge style, fully trusting that the water would be there, that no one would substitute cement for water while I had my back turned, that I would land in a refreshing, silly splash, laughing. Then I imagined another scenario, me in a boat, just along for the ride. Blue water beneath me, a sunset ahead. Beautiful. But I wasn’t driving. I wasn’t in control. And that was just fine. It was wonderful actually. Trust and release.  the peaceful sensation of a freeing boat ride After a bit I stood up, feeling so much more peaceful. Completely different than when I’d entered. I still had the same things I needed to do. My plans had still changed, but now I viewed these changes as opportunities instead of obstacles. As things God had in store for me instead of things I was losing. My pulse was normal. My stomach calm. All because I prayed. Holding our thoughts captive doesn’t just mean putting them in a box on a shelf. It means handcuffing those negative, angry, stressed out, worried, frightened, or hopeless thoughts before they start upending everything in sight then turning them over to Jesus so He can take care of them. We don’t have to try and dismantle those thoughts by ourselves. We also don’t need “prayer pillows,” I just really like mine :). We can ask Jesus to step in. And He always will. This is where reading the verses around “hold every thought captive” helps me out. The Apostle Paul doesn’t instruct the church in Corinth to push bad or harmful thoughts aside. He starts by telling the Corinthians, For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 2 Corinthians 10:3-4 Paul says in this world we’ll have some wacky thoughts bombard us. True. He says it’s a battle to take those thoughts down. Also true. But Paul reminds us not to freak out, because we can tap into God’s divine power to tear down lies of culture, the enemy, and even the lies we tell ourselves. Whew! Just saying, “bye, bye bad thought,” might work sometimes, but that usually just delays when that thought bothers me instead of getting rid of it altogether. Recognizing a thought is bad, untrue, or toxic is an awesome first step. But then it helps so much to grab that yucky thought and intentionally hand it over to Jesus, asking Him to use His power to help us untangle it. The Message translation of this verse says, “Our tools are ready at hand.” Let’s use them!  2 Corinthians 10:3-4 Life is fast and expectations, situations, and opinions fly at us and our gut reaction is to grab the things we like or want and swat away the things we don’t want. But the beauty of life with Jesus is we don’t have to do anything alone. We have an all-powerful, all-loving Savior who is on our side. We can take each harmful thought and hand it over to Him. We can ask Jesus to help us see this opinion or roadblock or overload or slow down or speed up through His eyes. Where are the blessings here? What can we be doing? What is the truth of the situation? Who can help? And in our conversations with Jesus, He’ll calm, empower, and direct us. He’ll flood us with love and joy and peace. Our thoughts will turn from negative or scary or prideful to thoughts much more like His of kindness, goodness, and grace.
I don’t know what thoughts you’re fighting today. Thoughts of not having enough time, energy, answers, resources, of not being enough. Maybe it’s the opposite. Maybe you’re having thoughts that you’re too much, the expectations on you are too much, the stress is too much, the expenses too high. But Jesus wants to help you sort through all these thoughts. He wants to show you what’s true about yourself–He loves you. And your situation–He’s with you and fighting for your good. Release your worries to Him. Trust Him with your future. He is the Prince of Peace. And He’s on your side. Does someone you care about struggle with their mental health (maybe even you)? If so, how can you help? Seeking help from a mental health professional is always the best and most important first step. But you can make a difference right now. Where should you start?  Make sure you and the people you love are taking care of themselves. 1. Take care of their physical needs. Our mental health wobbles when we’re not taking care of ourselves, so basic self care is a great place to start. Are they eating enough? Sleeping enough? Moving their bodies? Are they staying hydrated? If not, help out how you can. Bring the person you care about a charcuterie tray or a meal or take them out to one of their favorite restaurants. Deliver a goodie bag of their favorite hydrating beverages–La Croix or some other flavored fizzy water or a box of their favorite tea with a jar of local honey. Invite them on a walk or a bike ride or to kick the soccer ball around with you (it is World Cup season, after all). Suggest they get some sleep–go to bed early, take a nap, etc. Jesus did this. He fed crowds (John 6:5-13). He made sure the disciples were eating and resting (Mark 6:31). He cared about the people around Him and their basic needs. We can too. 2. Be a calming presence. Lean back, breathe deeply and slowly, speak in a calm voice, light a candle, or play some soft music. We live in a loud, hurried world. Show the person you love what peace looks like–that it is available. Jesus calmed the storms at sea, showing the disciples peace was accessible to them even when they least expected it (Mark 4:35-41). We can also offer the people we care about a glimpse of calm.  1 Peter 5:7 3. Check in. When we’re alone is when our thoughts tend to spiral. We worry about the what ifs instead of focusing on the now. When we’re alone is when Satan loves to slither in and whisper lies to us. Make sure you’re not alone and the people you care about aren’t alone, that they have someone to talk to. Remind them that they are seen. That they matter. Jesus made sure the disciples traveled in pairs, not solo (Luke 10:1). Jesus approached people no one else would consider speaking to or even getting near. He didn't want them to feel isolated (John 4:7-27, Matthew 8:1-3). From the get go God knew it wasn't good for people to be alone (Genesis 2:18). We can follow Jesus’ lead and send the text, better yet make the call, even better knock on and open doors to make sure the people we care about are doing okay. If you’re worried about someone’s safety, seek professional help immediately. 4. Pray. There’s just nothing like prayer. The God of the Universe, the Creator of All Things is just waiting for you to talk to Him. He loves you and every single person on earth so very much. He created us all. He died for us all. He cares about our mental health. Jesus wants to flood us with hope, joy, and peace. When we talk to Jesus, it sets things in motion. Prayer costs nothing. It doesn’t require any knowledge or skill set. All you have to do is start telling Jesus what’s on your mind. Peter, one of Jesus’ very best friends, tells us: “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you” (1 Peter 5:7). Peter saw first hand that Jesus cares so much about you and me, that we can hand over all our troubles and fears and concerns to Him. Ask Jesus to help the people you love(and yourself) with their mental health. I’ll get us started: Dear Jesus, please flood me and ______ with your peace, hope, and love.  5 Minute Devotions for Teens: A Guide to God and Mental Health releases December 6 5. Grab them a copy of my new book, 5 MInute Devotions for Teens: A Guide to God and Mental Health It releases one week from today! I wrote this book as a way for people to quickly connect with Jesus, and in doing so, also care for their mental health. The short devotions are catered to teens, but early readers are saying, “It’s great for ALL ages, even adults.” Each page has a Bible verse, devotion, and prayer or activity. These books make great stocking stuffers for kids, grandkids, nieces and nephews, anyone you love. Maybe even sneak an extra in your own stocking. It’s amazing how many scientific tips for caring for our mental health are Biblical. Jesus loves us so much. He always has our best interest in mind, and cares so much about our mental health. Praying for you, for your mental health, and for the mental health of those you love. I’m not a new year’s resolution girl. But I do find a word or phrase to focus on each year–something God keeps reminding me of, something He’s made quite clear He doesn’t want me to forget. At the beginning of 2021 I felt God telling me to “feel all the feelings.” That phrase seems pretty self explanatory, especially to a girl who cries at movies, cards, and commercials on the regular. But there are some feelings that are hard to feel–that seem like they’d be better off shoved in a drawer or put in the back of a closet where you don’t have to look at them or sort through them. These were the feelings I was afraid of, and the ones God was referring to.  I put my word for the year on a slate in my office, so I can't lose sight of it. But God followed “feel the feelings” with “I’ll protect you.” He even showed me the phrase Elohim Shomri which means, God my Protector. So, I would understand if I feel the hard stuff, if I address it, if I go “there,” it’s okay. It’s safe. God will protect me. So on a slate in my office and each new week in my planner I wrote “feel the feelings” and “Elohim Shomri.” I wanted this phrase front and center as I dove into new days and to-do lists and highs and lows. And, as expected, it was a year of all. The. feelings. Our oldest graduated college. And moved to Nashville. To work a job that feels like God handcrafted for her. Which makes me so proud of her, and so grateful and full of joy for the life she’s living, and also I miss her oodles. Our twenty year old decided to live at home instead of the dorms this year. Which feels like a gift, because it’s an extra year of having our son at home with us. I am so grateful for every hug and conversation I didn’t expect to share with him. But also, he’s twenty. And I want to respect that. And treat him like a grown up. While he’s living under our roof. Which is complicated. Cue more feelings.  My counselor has also helped me sort through some feelings that I’d sealed in figurative boxes and hidden in the basement of myself. I believe it’s super important to tend to our mental health, and mine needed a check up that unearthed more feelings. And you know what? God has been with me. Every single feeling of the way. In the excitement and joy and the sadness and concern. In the missing of my oldest child, the adapting to new norms with the next oldest child, and in the exploring of my own childhood. God is so faithful. And so loving. And I am so grateful. He is my Elohim Shomri. And now–Christmas, which is always jam-packed with feelings. Full of memories, family, relationships and reminders. But also full of the reason for the celebration in the first place–that Jesus came to earth to be with us–Emmanuel. And because Jesus is with us (and He promises to be to the ends of the earth), we are free to mourn the loss of those not with us this year and to celebrate the new people in our lives. We can also mourn and celebrate jobs and life situations, new things, and old places, and things we used to be able to do or just learned how to do. Because Jesus, the Christ child who was announced to the world by a host of angels, who radically changed the lives of the shepherds who saw him on that first Christmas, the magi who followed, and every human who ever encountered Him, is here with us. You and me. Today. Around our dinner tables and trees, in our very hearts and souls.  Luke 2:12 So feel the feelings this Christmas. As the angels first announced to the shepherds, ““Don’t be afraid. I’m here to announce a great and joyful event that is meant for everybody, worldwide: A Savior has just been born in David’s town, a Savior who is Messiah and Master. This is what you’re to look for: a baby wrapped in a blanket and lying in a manger.”
At once the angel was joined by a huge angelic choir singing God’s praises: Glory to God in the heavenly heights, Peace to all men and women on earth.--Luke 2:12-14 |
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