A year and a half ago my friend Kristin noticed a trail near her house was called “Daffodil Trail” but there was not a single daffodil on it. She decided to change that. She rallied a couple of friends, bought hundreds of daffodil bulbs, and went on a stealth mission. Can you picture it? A handful of middle aged women all dressed in black sneaking onto a trail predawn and planting bulbs with the Mission Impossible theme song playing? Dun dun dun da dun dun… And in March of last year that trail was popping with golden blooms. Kristin said, “We went down there to check them out, and we literally squealed with joy when we saw all the daffodils.” Kristin went to be with the Lord in May after a brave battle with pancreatic cancer. But she left her mark of beauty on this world. On my life. On so many lives. And in so many ways. In part with some flower bulbs. Daffodils come back year after year meaning anyone who walks along Daffodil Trail this year or ten years from now will be overwhelmed by the sunny yellow beauty and think it was always that way, because shouldn’t it be? I want to be like Kristin and create more beauty in this world. The Apostle Paul told Timothy he wanted people to be “doing something beautiful for God and becoming beautiful doing it” (1 Timothy 2:10 MSG). Yes! Let’s do that. Let’s do something beautiful for God today and as a result become more beautiful. We can add beauty to the world in a million ways. We can give a hug or a compliment. We can bake bread or brownies. We can write a song or a sonnet. We can clean out a garage or a drawer. We can paint a picture or a wall. We can string fairy lights on our porch or light a candle and fill a room with the beautiful scent of vanilla or lavender. Listen, you don’t need me to tell you there are some really ugly things in our world. There is hate and racism and war and violence and injustice and disease and jealousy and greed. But you and me? We have the opportunity to make things more beautiful. To shine Christ’s light and grow beauty all around us. And it’s interesting, because when we take the time to create beauty, when we invest in making the world more beautiful by buying the bulbs or putting sprinkles or glitter on top, by playing the music or planning the outfit or laughing out loud, we feel better too. God reminds us of how much He loves us and all the goodness He has for us. Bonus, creating beauty boosts our mental health.
Ready? Let’s do it. Let’s create some beauty for our good and for God’s glory.
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Today, my beautiful, talented, Gilmore Girls loving, rom-com writing friend, Betsy St. Amant Haddox is guest blogging AND we're giving away a copy of her brand new book, Once Upon a Divorce. As a divorce survivor and single mom, Betsy St. Amant Haddox shares her own raw, unfiltered story of what happens after the fairy tale ends. In her humorous, vulnerable, and authentic way, Betsy recounts how she navigated her ex-husband's abandonment and the seeming silence from heaven that followed. She takes readers through the thorny path of figuring out life as a single mother, healing from loss, and finding God to be faithful through it all. Once Upon a Divorce proves that the end of a marriage isn't the end of the story. And now from Betsy.... Whoever says God doesn’t have a sense of humor has clearly never gone through anything difficult. I don’t mean that irreverently. I mean it literally. Some of the funniest things happened during my darkest season of divorce. And not just laugh-out-loud moments, but irony or things others might chalk up to coincidence that I know are otherwise. There are several instances where the humor wasn’t evident until years after the fact. Such as the time my husband had only been moved out for a few months, and I happened to look down while washing my hair in the shower and saw something that most definitely was not supposed to be sitting on the drain between my feet. A scorpion. Let’s just say the arachnid didn’t make it, and he probably also went deaf before he kicked the proverbial bucket (RIP). That poor creature represented everything unfair in that season of my life and really got it. Or the time when another wildlife creature burrowed up under the lining of my trailer and died, and Billy the Exterminator’s (remember that show?) nephew had to come dig it out. (Yes, that experience was as gross as it sounds.) Possibly the most ironic was the time when I almost canceled a first date with a nice single dad because I was so fed up with the entire dating process (more on that in the book) but then ended up going anyway and eventually marrying him. It’s amusing how God works. Folks often refer to Christianity as the upside-down kingdom. Things typically don’t go the way we expect or hope. Jesus talked about how the least will be made great and the great will be made small. In the upside-down kingdom, leaders serve. Humility is advancement. Sacrifice is honored. Less is more. And in losing our life, we gain it. I don't know where you're feeling upside-down today. Maybe you're not going through a divorce, but you're in a different hard season that feels out of sorts. Shaky. Distorted. Maybe you're dealing with a prodigal child, aging parents, death, grief, financial strain, or some sort of major life transition. Maybe nothing specific has happened, but you wish it would. Maybe you're still single and longing to find a spouse. Maybe you're waiting for that healing, that break through, that promotion or progression that seems like it's never going to arrive. Whatever it is, may I remind you that we can be firmly planted in this upside-down kingdom, on a Rock that never shifts? In this particular kingdom, one that makes little sense to the world, we can thrive. We can have peace and joy not because of our circumstances, but because of the One sovereignly in charge of them all. We can have success, not because of dollars signs and bottom lines but because of focusing on our eternal inheritance that can't be destroyed. (1 Peter 1:3-5) When we cling to the fact that God is writing our story, that this hard chapter isn't the end, that there are so many more pages ahead, we can release our death grip on control. Because He's got a grip on us. Okay, how can you win your FREE copy? Message me one word about how your life is feeling upside down right now. I'll randomly select a winner within a week and Betsy will send you a copy (open only to continental U.S. residents over the age of 18). In other news...I have a new book releasing February 6! Betsy and I wrote these books during the same time period. I can't tell you how many calls, texts, prayers, and voice memos flew between us as we dove into some painful parts of our stories to reveal God's faithfulness and love. I even interviewed Betsy for my book :). You can pre-order a copy of Holy Care for the Whole Self HERE!
For more inspiration find me on Facebook and Instagram We set up our Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving and had to wait until now to decorate it. It took over six weeks of doctor appointments that ended in an unexpected five-day hospital stay to finally get a diagnosis and treatment for our son’s back pain. My agent started pitching a book idea I had in January, and I just got a book deal for it. Waiting. I’m not good at it. You? And yet it’s a part of life. It seems like so many things I’ve been waiting for for weeks, even months have come together in the past few days, and it feels so fitting, like God is really trying to tell me something, because Advent (this season leading up to Christmas) is a season of waiting–waiting for the birth of Jesus. Which has always seemed a little strange to me, because Jesus came to earth, lived like a human, so He could fully relate to you and me, was executed on the cross to free us from our sins, and rose from the dead. This all went down over 2,000 years ago, so we don’t really have to wait for it. Do we? Aha, but it turns out, this is where the good stuff happens. In the waiting. I know I know. I don’t like to wait. Like zero percent like it. But I’m learning there can be purpose in the waiting. It can help us more fully experience joy. Waiting Dials Up Our Excitement This year I got all the joy and excitement of selecting our Christmas tree and bringing it into the house in November–the scent of pine, the ushering in of the season, that happy, expectant feeling in my heart. Then the tree sat in the corner without a single ornament. I kept sneaking peeks at it thinking, soon, soon we’ll be able to decorate you. But I had to wait. We have a lot of reconstruction going on in our home due to a pipe leak in June (yes, June!) and the tree couldn’t be decorated until some wall patching and painting was complete. Then the other night I sang along to Christmas music and ate minty candy canes with my husband and son while pulling out memories in the form of ornaments and hanging them on pine branches. It was beautiful and fulfilling and so worth the wait. My excitement and joy were amplified, because I’d been waiting and anticipating, and at long last we were able to trim the tree. Sometimes We Have to Wait for Things to Move Forward All the appointments, MRIs, X-rays, physical therapy, and prescriptions for our son, led us to a doctor who discovered what looked like the source of our boy’s pain. This doc’s expertise was critical to the next step of being referred to a specialist who got us admitted to the hospital when we didn’t have a clue that’s what we needed. Once in the hospital the best care team of professionals confirmed his diagnosis, tended to our boy, and set him on a path to healing. The journey got us to the right place. Each step of the way mattered, helped doctors rule something out, got us closer to a treatment plan. And each new answer gave us a burst of joy--it's treatable, the biopsy was successful, he's on the right meds--joy, joy, joy. Through the waiting God showed us He is always with us, always guiding us, that He cares so deeply about every detail and step in our lives. It felt like waiting to us, but God used that time to make things happen, to put things in place, to line up the right doctors at the right time so our son could be healed. Waiting Makes Us More Appreciative The book deal? Well, that’s just super fun. But by waiting almost a year for it I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has put this book in the publisher’s hands where He wants it published. I’ve had time to work on this book, pray over this book, and pray for the future readers of the book, that the words will increase their understanding of God’s love for them. The waiting has reminded me of God’s faithfulness, perfect timing, and provision. I feel so grateful for this new opportunity, and I’m not sure if I would be as appreciative, as full of joy, if it had come quickly. And that’s why each Advent, we spend four weeks waiting for Christmas. Not because we’re pretending we don’t know Jesus was already born, but to prepare our hearts for how beautiful the miracle of Christmas is. To marinate in the fact that Jesus chose to come down from heaven to show us His goodness, heal our broken hearts, bodies, and souls, teach us what love is, and give Himself for us. That He chose to come as a poor boy, to an unknown family, to a teen mom and be born in a barn full of smelly cows and goats, to completely humble Himself, so we could see that things and status and fancy homes or clothes aren’t what bring us joy–love is. We decorate and bake and send cards and buy gifts and have parties. But we do it all in anticipation. To build on the excitement. To remember how beautiful it is to hope for something, so we’ll appreciate it even more. We read what the prophets had to say about Jesus arriving on earth to better understand what a planner God is. That He’d always intended for Jesus to be born to a virgin (Isaiah 7:14) in Bethlehem (Micah 5:2), live in Egypt (Hosea 11:1), and be a branch on Jesse’s family tree (Isaiah 11:1). That sometimes all that planning takes time. To remind our hearts and souls that what happened that first Christmas changed everything. That today in our busy lives with texts to respond to and kids to care for and dishes to wash that Jesus’ love and peace still reigns.
“Don’t be afraid!” the angel said. “I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David! This great joy is for you and me. Joy. Some days we have to wait for it. Do our part. Let God do His. Take the next step. Make the next call. Pray. Read our Bibles. Move two squares forward and one square back. Pray some more. Wait some more. But we do it hopefully. Expectantly. And in the waiting we can hold onto hope, get excited for a beautiful outcome, cling to Jesus and His love and grace. So when we get there it’s even sweeter than if we hadn’t waited, we can better feel and experience joy. For more inspiration find me on Facebook and Instagram Did you know there are two locations for Manchester University in Indiana? Neither did we. So we plugged Manchester U (not the futbol club) into our map app and drove two hours and forty-five minutes to cheer our daughter on in her college soccer game. About five minutes away from campus my husband asked if I could specifically type in the soccer field, because sometimes locating the field in the middle of a campus can be tricky. As I typed three addresses starting with Manchester University popped up within a mile of our location and another one came up forty-five minutes away. Wait! What? There are two locations for the same school? I quickly checked my FindMy app to see where our girl was. Not five minutes but forty-five minutes away – at the other location for Manchester University. We quickly rerouted. Needless to say, my husband and I arrived late to the game, but just in time to see our girl’s team score the only goal of the game, and therefore the winning goal. It was a spectacular fall day all warm sunshine and golden leaves. My husband and I went for a short stroll at halftime stretching our legs and watched an exciting second half in its entirety. We got to hug and congratulate our daughter after her game, telling her how proud we were of her. Plus Brett and I got to spend over six hours together on a fall Saturday–bonus! In the car we listened to a sermon and some worship music, shared stories, ate the pj&j’s and crisp, tart apples from the farmer’s market I’d packed as our lunch. We stopped and got chocolate covered pretzels at a gas station for the ride home. Also we laughed. A lot. The day was definitely not how we planned it. It was stressful, not gonna lie, when we realized we’d driven to the wrong place, that after all our planning and leaving early and being in the car we were going to miss the first part of the game. The air in the car was tense as we raced to the second location of Manchester University. But it ended up being a spectacular day. Not because of anything my husband and I did. But because God is good. Sometimes in life we go the wrong way. We get off course. We think we’re supposed to take that job, move to that city, work on that project, volunteer for that committee, join that club, only to figure out that actually that’s not where God wants us to be or how we’ll best thrive. The good news? God will always let us know when we’re off course. Always steer us back to where we should be headed. Because He wants goodness for us. This is how God always operates. God told Jonah the prophet to go to Nineveh but he didn’t want to, so Jonah headed the opposite direction. When this didn’t work out so well, God caused a storm to toss around the boat Jonah was running away on. Jonah knew the storm was God’s way of saying, “You’re going the wrong way.” Feeling guilty, Jonah actually had the other folks on board throw him overboard to save themselves. They complied. The storm ceased. The boat was saved. And Jonah got swallowed by a big fish where he stayed for three very smelly days. Jonah prayed and the fish spit him out on dry land. Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time: “Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you.” Jonah obeyed the word of the Lord and went to Nineveh.-Jonah 3:1-3 Good thinking, Jonah. Jonah went the wrong way. On purpose. God stopped him. Saved him. And got Jonah back on track. The prophet Isaiah sums it up like this: Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it” (Isaiah 30:21). See, God wants us to go the right way in big things and little things. He wants us to walk towards life, hope, joy, grace, peace, and redemption. And God loves us so much He doesn’t try to force His agenda on us, but lets us choose every single day. And sometimes we choose wrong. Some days it’s because we’re stubborn like Jonah, and want our own way. Other days we’re confused or misled or truly don’t have any idea that, for example, Manchester University has two locations. But because God is so good, He steps in and gives us the chance to get back on track again and again. God also uses our missteps and turns them into good things (in Jonah’s case the other people on the boat who originally worshiped false gods ended up praying to, worshiping, and making promises to the One True God–not a bad outcome).
God always wants us at the right game, the right city, with the right people to make the right choices. He is such a good and loving father that He’ll nudge and prompt and when we go the wrong way redirect and give us a fresh start. So we might end up in Nineveh or a random town in Indiana, but if we ask Him, our Good Father will tell us which way to walk. And when we listen? Things change. We end up in the right places with the right people doing the right things–things that make us whole and feel loved and find purpose. His kingdom prevails. Goodness and mercy abound. So let’s ask God before we move today. Let’s choose to the best of our ability to go where He sends us. If we aren’t certain, then let’s start moving and ask God to turn us around if we’re going the wrong way. Which way will you go today? I hope you don’t end up at the wrong site of a University in Indiana or even worse the belly of a giant fish. But remember, if you do mess up, you can call out to Jesus and better than any map app, He will redirect your steps. For more inspiration find me on Facebook and Instagram I’m not much of a sports fan, and baseball is lower than some other sports on my list. But, my husband loves the Reds, my son enjoys adventures, and we recently were given free tickets to a Cincinnati Reds game…in the Executive Suite. What is the Executive Suite you ask? I wondered, too. It’s a giant air conditioned room (which came in super handy on the 98 degree day we attended the game) with leather seats and a buffet of food and buckets full of beverages on ice. The back wall is completely glass giving you a perfect view of the third base line. And if you feel like watching the game old school, you simply walk out the opening and sit in some of the partitioned off padded stadium seats that are also part of the suite. It was very bougie and above my pay grade. And I did absolutely nothing to deserve entrance into such a fancy space. My husband’s department at the university had rented the suite, and my son and I were admitted because we were Brett’s guests. Brett got to go, because his employer invited all the employees to come. Not the best employees or the ones who had been there the longest or the ones who achieved something. All of them were invited. All of them could bring their families. All of them received the special wristbands entitling them to the suite and all the goodies and comforts and privileges within its doors. This is exactly what the kingdom of God is like. God invites ALL of us in. Not for anything we’ve said or done, but all of us get the invite. If we accept the invitation, believe that Jesus is the Son of God and that He died for the forgiveness of our sins, then we get wristbands that gain us free admittance into God’s kingdom with loads of unearned privileges. We are considered royal, holy, and chosen (1 Peter 2:9)–not because of our achievements or our ranking or how “good” of a person we are. Nope. Just because we belong to Jesus. We’re granted access to abundant living (John 10:10), amazing grace (2 Corinthians 12:9), endless love (John 3:16), peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7) and inexplicable joy (Psalm 16:11). Not because we have a huge following or could afford it or we’re just that gorgeous or likable or smart or strong. Not because we have on the coolest outfit or drink our greens or do our sit-ups. Nope. God created the kingdom. Jesus paid for our ticket. They, along with the Holy Spirit, invited us. And all this abundance comes free with admittance to God’s executive suite. If we decide to follow Jesus, we have 100% unlimited access to the King whenever we like. He’s there hanging out in the suite ready to chat with us about whatever, whenever. We don’t have to set up an appointment or go through His assistant. We have the security, not of some dude with a badge, but of God’s entire angel army on hand to protect us if danger closes in. We don’t have to worry about what we’ll eat or drink (I mean ballpark snacks are pricey) because He is the bread of life and living water that will quench our thirst–satisfy our cravings–exceedingly better than any all-you-can-eat buffet or soda fountain (John 6:35). It’s all there waiting for us–a full life, green pastures, goodness and love, still waters (Psalm 23). But we have to say yes. We have to accept Jesus’ invitation to this abundant living. My husband, son, and I didn’t have to go to that Reds game. We could have stayed home on the couch, not driven downtown, not given hours and hours of our Sunday to the excursion, but then we would have missed out on such a cool, extravagant experience.
You and I have the choice also. God gives us free will. We can decide. We can sit at home and watch the game on our flat screen. Or we can step into a life of VIP treatment–an abundant life with the best view and all the benefits that His kingdom wristband entitles us to. Again, not because of our actions, but simply because God loves you and me and wants goodness for us. Not just on a random Sunday, but everyday. Will you accept His invite? (If you have questions on what that means or looks like–shoot me a message. I’d love to answer any questions on how to accept Jesus and start living a kingdom life today!) For more inspiration find me on Facebook and Instagram I’ve popped into three different stores over the last week that all had fall and Halloween decorations on display. Listen, I LOVE fall, but …wait a minute! Where did summer go? Do you remember how your summer started? What you were feeling? Praying for? Hoping for? We don’t have to start buying pumpkin spice everything (although you can if you like). We can intentionally push pause and take a look at how summer went down before we fast forward into fall. Can you picture the start of your summer? Mine looked like this–with both my life and dining room packed with good things and chaotic messy things too. Why did my dining room look like this? All summer long? Because I have college kids who I adore. And our dining room acted as a storage unit for their college things. It made for a summer full of joy and love and clutter. What were you thinking and experiencing back in late May or early June? Summer was also pretty upside down around here. We had a pipe leak that flooded our kitchen which has now been basically gutted. We also needed a new roof and our air conditioning was broken all summer long. So people slept wherever it felt the coolest on any particular day and we had workers plus their dog on our roof and inside our house. What took you by surprise this summer? And summer was amazing. We ate ice cream and painted pottery and went to the beach and played cards. We went on walks and runs and the athletes in our crew did crazy workouts. We cooked yummy food and ate dinners on the porch as the setting sun streamed through the trees. We watched movies and had great conversations and laughed so very much. Big decisions were made in our family. Some powerful experiences took place. Prayers were prayed. And we created some really great stories we’ll probably be telling for years to come. What were your favorite parts of summer? Jesus taught me so much this summer. He answered specific prayers I’d been praying for months. He asked me to let go of trying to control some things (including having a floor or cabinets). He reminded me that the little things are so little. And the big things like love, peace, and joy–they’re what matter most, and also what He provides in abundance. My dining room is now empty. The kids have gone back to school. Yes, I miss them like crazy (see the last blog), but I’m also excited about fall–the soccer games and Cross Country meets, some new projects I’m working on (can’t wait to share soon), apples and pumpkins and all the fall things. With this shift in seasons and schedules there will be new things I have to figure out. New prayers I’ll pray. New things God will want me to learn. But before I dive in, I want to pause. And reflect on what Jesus taught me over the summer. It was all too good to skim past. I don’t want to forget. Here are some questions to contemplate before we dive into fall: So here’s to the shift into fall, to new beginnings, colorful leaves AND to holding fast to who God is, how He so faithfully loves us, and what He’s taught us. Here’s to remembering all that Jesus did for and taught us over the summer AND to keeping our eyes open to what He wants to show us about His love and goodness as our schedules, needs, demands, and hopes once again shift. What did God teach you this summer? How can I be praying for you as you enter into fall? I’d love to hear. ….. Some other things I learned this summer came through incredible conversations with over a dozen awesome Christian women in my What Women Can Do series. If you missed it, you can check out those convos here. Also…just in time for fall I’m offering 10 Minutes for 10 Days–a quick, FREE, and easy Bible study geared to get back to hearing God better and sensing Him more fully in this new season. If you’ve gone through this with me before, please join in again. It’s a great refresher to get rid of some of the clutter in our lives and minds to make more room for Jesus. And if you’re new here–welcome! I’m so excited for you to join in! The study starts September 4 Invite some friends, your small group, Bible study, sister, or do it solo.
To sign up to get your FREE 10-day Devotional click here (PDF will be delivered via email on September 1) For more inspiration find me on Facebook and Instagram I LOVE the trails by our house. It’s where I run and listen to worship music and clear my head. It’s where I meet friends for long walks and even longer chats. But recently I put on my running shoes, stretched my muscles, drove over to the trails, and found a giant orange “Trails Closed” sign. Obviously this was not my plan. And I am a girl who really likes to stick to her plan. As disappointing as it was that my agenda was no longer an option, there were other options.
I’m very good at getting lost and very poor at navigating directions of any kind. But I do love the woods. So I gave the road less traveled a try. Robert Frost would be so proud. In the twisty trail through the woods I ran across quaint wooden bridges, emerged out into the open and passed a field of spectacular wildflowers. Back in the woods I ran around giant stumps and past streams that provided a soothing soundtrack of rushing water. Most of the time I didn’t know where I was or how far I’d gone or how fast I was running–things runners tend to track, but it didn’t matter, because it was an adventure in itself, the discovery of what’s next, and oh, look at that–it’s all so very beautiful. I’m excited to return to my normal trail. But my new path will stay in my rotation. I have to watch my step on the new route, because there are roots and rocks and ridges. I run slower on this trail, due to all the watching of my steps. But it’s quiet and peaceful and calming and restorative. I’m so grateful I was forced to find it. Which is great, and I’m sure you’re all very happy for me for finding a lovely place to explore the woods nearby, but that’s not the point. The point is that we often have a preferred way, a plan in our pocket, the way we want things to go, and when we don’t get that option we might get frustrated or feel put out or even freak out depending on the situation. But God always has goodness for us. On the path we pick AND on the one we don’t. Often our preference is valid because it works better for us. We’ve chosen to go to that church, work place, or school, because it’s good for our soul, makes us happy, fills a need or serves us or someone we care about well. We develop ways of loading and unloading the dishwasher, routes to work or school, a specific system to schedule our days, weeks, months, and years with certain rhythms, priorities, calendars or apps because those things work for us, please us, or are simply convenient. And that’s great. The more we learn about ourselves and what God has for us in this season, the more we should chase after those things that bring us closer to Him, help us live out our callings, and are good for our physical, spiritual, and mental health. And also…sometimes God has new things for us to discover, new people He wants us to meet, new ways of doing things that could be even better, or better for now, or something unexpected that could help or grow us. Sometimes He has streams and Black-eyed Susans and slatted bridges waiting for us that we didn’t even know existed. And other times, we plain won’t get our preferences. Little things happen like storms knocking the power out or traffic backing up a road. We work within a group and somebody has to carry the gear and take out the trash and pay the bills, even if that’s not our preference. We’re at someone else’s place and they don’t do things like we do, yet we know we should respect their rules, routines, and recipes. Big things happen too. Churches shut down. Someone else’s idea gets picked. Another person’s choice impacts us in a challenging way. We don’t get the job or assignment or contract or position or grant or scholarship we applied for. We lose someone or something we love. The person we were counting on bails. And back to the smaller things…trails get closed. Just saying.
And in these times–both the big and small ways things don’t go our way–God has goodness for us. He does. The last verse of Psalm 23 declares “surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life.” Jesus tells us in John 10:10 that He came so that we can have an abundant life. There is goodness for you and me all our days. There is abundance for us when we follow Jesus. Whether that’s where we planned to go or where the alternate route takes us. Whether it’s our first or last choice. There is goodness. There is abundance. Around every turn or bend when we walk through this life with Jesus. For more inspiration find me on Facebook and Instagram While on vacation our family went to Mellow Mushroom for trivia night and their delicious pizza (I love the Great White with sundried tomatoes, fresh basil, olive oil and ricotta). The Trivia Master asked questions about Taylor Swift, what kind of car Knight Rider drove, the ingredients in soy sauce, how high fleas can jump, and so many more. I knew the answers to some questions like: Who sang “Chain of Fools”? Aretha Franklin. And some I had zero idea like: Who was the first president to live in the White House? But I didn’t have to know about the White House, because my 17-year old son is a history buff and loves presidents. He whipped John Adams out of his brain faster than kids jump in the pool when the lifeguard blows their whistle signaling adult swim is over. I also didn’t need to know about baseball or bones because my mom, daughters, and husband knew all kinds of trivia I was clueless about. And when none of us knew the answers, we laughed at the ridiculously obscure questions and made silly guesses. It didn’t all depend on me. I wasn’t fully responsible. No one expected me to have all the answers. Because I had a team. The same holds true for life. You don’t have to have all the answers, run damage control, sort through the emotions, or do all the work by yourself. God never intended for us to do life alone. As soon as God finished making the first human, God said, “It’s not good for man to be alone.” Then God immediately made Eve, so Adam wouldn’t have to do life solo. God knew from the get go we are better together. And yet… We wrestle with decisions all by ourselves not wanting to inconvenience or worry the people around us. We start something new and hesitate to share our ideas or dreams, because we don’t want to be critiqued or dismissed. We try to do all the things for all the people without asking for help, because we don’t want to let anyone down. Or maybe we just like things done our way. Or maybe we’re plain stubborn. We keep our mental health struggles to ourselves, because we worry what others might think, or because we don’t want to be a burden. We try to figure things out solo, because surely we’re clever enough to do so or we don’t want to appear weak or less than. But what if someone could give us helpful tips or lend a hand or carry some of our load or be a safe place to process? It is not good for man (or woman) to be alone. We are currently experiencing an epidemic of loneliness noted by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services in a recent report as something that’s “damaging the health of individuals and our society.” The report goes on to state, "Relationships help our overall well-being, and lead to healthier and more fulfilled and productive lives.” Being alone increases our risk of dementia, depression, heart disease, anxiety, and stroke. As God was saying, “It’s not good for people to be alone.” Listen, I’m an introvert, so doing things solo is my natural tendency. And I’m a writer, so my job largely consists of stringing words together on my laptop–by myself. So, I need to be intentional about not isolating. I have to schedule walks and coffee dates with friends. I have to make an effort to blurt feelings and ideas out around the table or on the phone with people I love and trust. And when I share what’s on my mind, what I’m excited about, what I’m struggling with, what I’m dreaming and scheming and praying about with close, trusted friends or family, I’m a better version of myself. I get support and insights and ideas. I’m asked great questions, given wise suggestions, and feel seen and heard. People pray for me and check back to see how things are going. I receive love. And it’s beautiful. You can have all this too! What’s going on in your life? What are you most excited about? Struggling the most with? What’s your first thought when you wake up? The thing that’s keeping you up at night? The thing you’re praying your heart out about?
Does anyone know about it? Why not? Try inviting someone you trust, someone who loves Jesus and will keep you pointed toward Him into what’s occupying your time, heart, and mind. Ask for help if you need it or get it off your chest or explain that you just really need someone to listen. It will do wonders. God has always intended us to share our lives. Friendship appears over and over in the Bible as a way people got through some extremely high highs and low lows. King David had his best friend Jonathan. Ruth had Naomi. Jesus surrounded himself with the disciples. We weren’t meant to do life alone. We’re better off when we share the struggles, triumphs, and even random ideas of our lives with others. Who knows, if you do, you might even win at trivia. For more inspiration find me on Facebook and Instagram My husband ordered a piece of cinnamon bread at our local coffee shop. The barista kindly asked, “Which do you prefer– an edge piece or a middle piece?” It struck me as such a kind and intentional thing to ask and I told her so. “It matters, you know?” she said. “I find that edge people take their edges very seriously.” “I get it,” I nodded. “I way prefer a middle piece and might even pass altogether if someone offers me a piece from the edge.” The girl in front of me with the slicked back ponytail and cute faded jeans smiled at me. “I also love a middle piece. It feels so much fresher that way.” “Agreed!” I nodded. How about you? Would you rather have a piece of coffee cake, or better yet a brownie, from the edge of a pan or from the middle of the pan? Here’s the lie–one kind of person is better than the other. Sure, I want a middle piece every single time and might even pass altogether if someone offers me a brownie from the edge of the pan. My preferences are part of me and that’s great. But the truth is that doesn’t make me any better or worse than my husband who likes the crunchy edge piece. Because Jesus made both middle and edge people on purpose and absolutely adores us all. Sounds silly when we’re talking about our favorite pieces of cake, but it gets a bit blurry when we talk about other character traits that Jesus just as intentionally put in me and in you. Jesus made people who are bold and confrontational as well as people who are timid and gentle. Jesus made people who need to verbally process everything out loud and people who need to run everything through their brain prior to speaking. Jesus made some of us who prefer to be with all their people at once and others of us who prefer one-on-one time with their favorite folks. Jesus created and adores walkers and runners, coffee and tea drinkers, emotional and composed people, early birds and night owls, republicans and democrats, country music and classical music composers, artists, and listeners, fast talkers and slow speakers, sports and symphony fans, meat eaters and vegetarians, debaters and peace makers, and He loves each and every one of us. Some of these are harder for us to believe and live out than others. Sometimes we automatically think less of him or her because they fit into one of these categories. Sometimes we think less of ourselves because we label ourselves as one of these things and wish we were different. But Jesus made YOU in His image. He delights in YOU. He calls YOU His masterpiece.
He also made “them” in His image. He delights in “them”. He calls “them” His masterpieces. Jesus tells us, “Love our neighbor as ourselves.” This is one of HIs top two out of all the commands. Are we loving ourselves? My first challenge to you and me this week is to look ourselves in the mirror each morning and each night and say, “I love you. I love that… (and say something you love about yourself–that you snort when you laugh, cannot stand still if you hear good music, make remarkably good guacamole, etc. ). Say something different each day. Challenge number two (are you ready?): Each night let’s say one thing we like about somebody who bugged us that day. I know. I know. They really drove you crazy, but remember God still loves them as fiercely and unconditionally as He loves you. And after all, somebody has to eat the edge AND the middle pieces or else we’d end up throwing away so many brownies. Which would be a tragedy. For more inspiration find me on Facebook and Instagram I was running on the trails and passed a young mama pushing a stroller with someone tiny inside. Her daughter, who I’m guessing was three, walked along beside. The little girl sported pink light-up Minnie Mouse shoes and looked at her feet with each step to watch the lights light up. I smiled at the mom, told the little girl, “I like your shoes,” and kept running. I soon got to my turn around point, circled back, and saw the trio ahead of me. Only this time the girl was not giggling about her shoes. She was screaming and stomping, hands in the air. She ran away from her mom, then back again, her face all scrunched up. Although I couldn’t see it from where I was, and the girl couldn’t either, I knew from experience that not that far around the bend from where the drama played out was an awesome playground. I’d been that mama before. Trying to squeeze in some sort of exercise while juggling littles and trying to make it all a fun outing for them. Having one of the kiddos lose it for a reason that mattered very much to them in the moment, but knowing that even if they were bored or hungry or tired or simply preferred to be carried, if they could just make it four more minutes, they would be delighted. They would no longer care about the thing bothering them, because they would be climbing and swinging and sliding and make-believing all kinds of wonderful things. I’d been that mama. But how many times have I also been the little girl? Prancing about delighted about something one moment, only to have a setback–anything from getting a parking ticket to discovering I’m one ingredient short of tonight’s dinner recipe to a book proposal being rejected to being on hold for thirty minutes with the insurance company throw me off on a rant. They all stink–some just more so than others. None of these things are the end of the world. And yet, I gripe. And pout. And everyone in my home hears about it. But why do I get stuck in the yuck? Because Jesus always has more. Better. Waiting just around the bend. I’m always so close to that proverbial playground, even when I can’t see it. I know this because the Bible promises, “surely goodness and love will follow us all the days of our lives” (Psalm 23:6). Not if we do better or try harder or are healed or our relationship is fixed or we contest our ticket or find that ingredient or get that book deal. But surely. Certainly. We don’t have to wait until tomorrow or someday, but ALL the days, including this one now. Jesus has more for you and me. So we get to choose. We get to choose if we’ll kick and scream and pout. Or if we’ll take a deep breath. And ask Jesus to help calm us and help us see things through His eyes. Thank Him for who He is and ask Him to help us take that next step forward. Because He knows all about the playground around the bend and can’t wait for us to get there. We can ask Him for courage to continue, endurance to keep going, and peace to wash over us so we're not worried along the way. He has so much goodness planned for you. That’s why He put you on this path in the first place. You can trust Him. I don’t know what that looks like for you in the midst of your current mishap, disappointment, challenge, or trial. Jesus might give you the opportunity to try something new and you’ll realize you love it or maybe you’ll meet a new friend or get a better offer or be inspired or learn something important or take a forced break that your body really needed. But I know Jesus promises goodness and love. He has more for you around the corner.
Jesus also promises us a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). And He promises to finish the good things that He starts in you like middle of the day strolls to a playground (Philippians 1:6). So wherever you’re frustrated or let down today or downright worried or frightened. Hang in there. Jesus wouldn’t have put you on this path–even if it feels long or steep or hot–without a good reason. He has goodness and love for you, an abundance of it. He has a playground of sorts waiting for you not far around the bend. For more inspiration find me on Facebook and Instagram |
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