Laura L. Smith
  • Home
  • Books
  • Blogs
  • Speaking
  • Contact Laura

STRENGTHENING MY FAITH MUSCLES

1/5/2017

0 Comments

 
​I have wobbly knees.
Who knew?
Picture
I tried rest, tape and a brace, but what I needed was to retrain my muscles.
Apparently it’s genetic, but it wasn’t something I ever noticed like the hazel eyes from my mom or the extra large skull from my dad’s side (honestly, finding hats and headbands to fit my cranium is a struggle). But my left knee started failing me about a year ago. It would cramp and stiffen and felt like it didn’t want to bend. It was painful to go running, and I could no longer sit crisscross applesauce. I self-diagnosed. I figured I’d tweaked it running and took a month off exercise, which was a bummer, but seemingly sensible. I eased my way back in—walking instead of running, being more cautious during certain yoga poses, wearing a discarded knee brace I found in our closet. Someone suggested it was my running shoes, so I bought a new pair. A friend taught me how to frame my kneecap with kinesiology tape. I bought some and taped up. With all of these slight adjustments to my routine, my knee bent again. It was less sore. But every time I went for a run it would hold up its “on strike” sign later that evening.

​So, after a year I went to see a doctor. I got an X-ray and an MRI. He looked at the soles of my running shoes and stuck his thumb in the tender, achy spot on my knee. Great news. I don’t have a torn meniscus or arthritis or any other word ending in –is or –us. I don’t need surgery or shots. The diagnosis—my kneecaps wobble like crazy. So, every time I take a step my knees do a mini version of The Charleston, causing my kneecap to rub against my meniscus until it feels raw.
 
Solution—physical therapy. Retraining my legs to work different muscles. Strengthening my hips and glutes to do more work, to absorb the shock of each step that lands when I run, so my knees won’t take such a beating.
Picture
My knees do their own mini Charleston
I can’t remember the first time I ran. And I certainly don’t remember it being something I had to learn how to do. I was small and my brother probably taunted, “Can’t catch me,” and I tore off after him. In my twenties after dancing all my life, I switched to running as a form of exercise, but I had to learn how—how to pace myself, how to breathe. I needed a running partner to get me going, teach me the ropes, and urge me on. But in those laps around the local park with my husband, I never considered my hips or glutes or knees in the process. It’s fascinating to me, that in my forties I’m learning how to run all over again.
 
But it’s the same way with my faith.

I don’t remember the first time I prayed or realized there was a God. For me, as a child, there just was One. I prayed, “Now I lay me down to sleep,” before bed and, “God is great, God is good,” before dinner. I believed God was the Creator of the world and that Jesus loved me, this I knew.
 
But throughout my life, I’ve injured my faith. I’ve tried to ignore problems, self diagnose, and do things on my own. At summer camp during an awkward junior high summer, I found God outside of the steeples and folded hands where I'd always seen Him. I felt Him in the warmth of a bonfire and in the exhiliration of riding a horse through trails in the woods, in gooey s'mores, and archery ranges. He was everywhere. I re-learned what it felt like to love God, to worship Him. Even though I’d always known God, this felt good and new and right.
 
But years passed and the world demanded I perform—that I achieve good grades, be accepted into a good school, look a certain way, and do certain things. And I believed it. As a result, my faith got rubbed raw by my wobbly self-confidence. No matter how much I achieved, no matter how hard I tried to fix my wounds of self doubt on my own, I didn’t feel loved or worthy or enough. This time God had to step in and heal me. I couldn’t mend the damage on my own. He introduced me to my future husband—a running partner, so to speak. With Brett at my side, showing me what love and acceptance looked like, I picked back up my Bible, started attending church again, and found friends who also valued their faith. With God’s (and Brett’s) help I retrained my faith muscles to find my value from Jesus. During this season I had to pace myself and learn how to breathe, but it helped me remember God loves me unconditionally, no matter how many deals I did or didn’t turn in, no matter how much money I did or didn’t make, or what brand of shoes I wore. And it changed things for me. In beautiful ways. I got married. I became a mother. I quit my day job and began writing.
Picture
You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought. —Matthew 5:5
 
With my physical therapy I am doing exercises to retrain my muscles, to change my gait, balance, and landings. My therapist said I’ll only need a few sessions with her, but I’ll need to maintain these exercises the rest of my life.
 
My faith therapy needs to be the same. Today I feel loved and full of purpose. But I need to constantly train my soul muscles to accept Jesus’ free grace, eliminating the need to legitimize my worth to anybody. I need to focus on how I go about my days, with what intent, for what purpose, for whose glory? I need to balance the things I want to check off my to-do list with the things God calls me to do. Every time I fall down, because I do, often, I need to land on Jesus—on His love, His forgiveness, His grace. It is a constant with me, but when I retrain my focus on Jesus and how much He loves me, He absorbs the shocks, bumps, pains, and challenges of my life and allows me to land softer with less wear and tear. He took the beating, so we don’t have to. Exercise your faith muscles today and allow him to soften your landings.
 
Are there any faith muscles you’re working on strengthening this year? I’d love to hear about it.
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Laura  L. Smith

    Subscribe

    * indicates required
    Email Format

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    Advent
    Adventures
    Allergies
    Apples
    Back Packing
    Baggage
    Basketball
    Batman
    Beauty
    Believe
    Bible
    Blogging
    Book Reviews
    Books
    Braces
    Brandi Chastain
    Breast Cancer Awareness
    Cafeterias
    Celebrating
    Change
    Chocolate
    Christmas
    Coffee
    College
    Concert
    Contest
    Control
    Courage
    Created In God
    David And Golaith
    Disney
    Divergent
    Dreams
    Driving
    Easter
    Embracing Your Role
    Enjoying Life
    Europe
    Exercise
    Fall
    Family
    Farmer
    Fashion
    Fasting
    Fear
    Finding Your Place
    Fireworks
    Fishing
    Fixed By Force
    Fixer Upper
    Football
    Forgiveness
    Free Books
    Friendships
    Frozen
    George Clooney
    Getting Closer To God
    Getting Closer To God
    Gilmore Girls
    Goals
    God
    God\
    God Given Gifts
    God-given Gifts
    Golden Rule
    Good Friday
    Gospel
    Grace
    Graduation
    Grandma
    Growth
    Guys
    Hair
    Happiness
    Healing
    Health
    Heroes
    High School
    Holy Week
    Homecoming
    HOPE
    Hot Lunch
    Ides Of March
    Impact
    Inner Beauty
    Interviews
    Invisalines
    Isaiah 40
    It's Addicting
    Jason Bourne
    Jason Warne
    Jesus
    Journeys
    Joy
    Laughing
    Laundry
    Legos
    Lent
    Letting Go
    Life Lessons
    Light
    Listening
    Listening To God
    Love
    Luggage
    Magi
    Magic
    Magic Kingdom
    Mental Health
    Metro
    Miracles
    Moms
    Moon
    Moses
    Movies
    Music
    New Year
    New Year\
    Obedience
    Oliver Twist
    Pansies
    Patience
    Peace
    Perseverance
    Peter Walking On Water
    Pick Pockets
    Pink Bra
    Planning
    Playing By The Rules
    Playlist Fiction
    Popsicles
    Potential
    Praying
    Princess
    Princess Diaries
    Prize
    Promises
    Psalm 139
    Realigning Your Life
    Recipes
    Relationship
    Running
    Savor
    Seat Assignments
    Self Image
    Self-Image
    Self-image
    Sharing
    Shopping
    Snow Patrol
    Soccer
    Social Justice
    Social Media
    Sororities
    Spring
    Steroids
    Stories
    Straightening Out Your Life
    Strength
    Stretching To Hear God
    Subway
    Summer
    Summer Reading
    Superheroes
    Superman
    Swimsuits
    Tag
    Take Breaks
    Taking Time
    Teen Fiction
    Thankful
    Thessalonians
    The Thief Lord
    The Word
    Toads
    Tortoise
    Travel
    Trips
    True Reflection
    Trust
    Truth
    U2
    Unpacking
    Winter
    Wonder Woman
    Writing
    Yoga
    Zumba


Follow along with Laura:​

Photo used under Creative Commons from Narisa
  • Home
  • Books
  • Blogs
  • Speaking
  • Contact Laura