Laura L. Smith
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ARE YOU INDIE: THE REALITIES FOR MIDDLE SCHOOL & HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS 

11/13/2012

12 Comments

 
Have you ever met someone who you knew God introduced to you to somehow, someway alter and enhance your life?  Laura Anderson Kurk is one of these people. I haven't known her for long, but already I feel like I've known her forever. We both write stories for young women, live in college towns, and yeah, the "Laura" thing. So, today, I want to introduce you to Laura and give you a chance to win her book Glass Girl. You'll be hearing more about her in the future. God will make sure of that. In the meantime, read her insights on "Indie Girls" and the deets on how to win her book.
GUEST BLOG BY LAURA ANDERSON KURK, AUTHOR OF GLASS GIRL
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Girl boots and boy boots under a table photo courtesy of Cary Anne Photography
A few weeks ago, my daughter and I had a conversation about the minefield of middle school and how the girls who'd seemed unique and awesome in lower grades suddenly looked like copies of one another. One day--cool, relaxed and confident. The next day--clingy, rubber-stamped robots. I told her the same thing happened when I was in middle school and when her grandmother was in middle school. It's just that weird middle school thing that happens when we stumble a little with confidence.

The conversation came about because my daughter had talked to a girl in the hall that morning while they were waiting for the bell to ring. This was a girl she had never talked to before. They moved in different circles, respectfully distant.

The girl said—"Hey, I've always wanted to tell you that I like your style. Most people here are too afraid to be different but you aren't and I really respect that."

That was it....the whole conversation. I think my daughter swallowed her tongue and then went on with her day in her cool, vintage way. But the girl's words stuck with her. And they emboldened her and went a long way toward making her feel more confident.

It got me thinking, again, about the power of words. And the power YOU hold when you reach across the chasms you think are between you and the other girls at school.

So here’s what’s up. I want you to try to encourage one girl at school tomorrow.



Spend tonight thinking about who needs words from you. Who is out there, trying to do her own thing, and thinking no one notices her? I know that applies to you--you think no one notices you. But watch what happens when you toss a pebble in the school pond and compliment someone who needs it. The ripple effect is a beautiful thing, girls. And soon you'll see those little waves coming back to you.

You've heard me talk about "art bombing" a bit over on my blog. Well, now we're going to "compliment bomb." It'll be fun, trust me. And don't forget to come back here and tell us what you did, said, and saw. We're all in this together, learning how to feel our way toward comfort.

Here's something, too, that makes me smile. Even the "Indie" girls admit that they're just another fashion trend. There's a Wiki on How to Be Indie. (You can take the "How Indie Are You" quiz here if you're interested.) I think it's okay, though, because what's cool about "Indie" is the attitude of acceptance they have for others.

Once you realize everyone is trying hard to be noticed and accepted, your viewpoint changes and you're suddenly more approachable and accessible. Your heart is open to people.

There's nothing cooler than that. Trust me.

“Watch the way you talk . . . . Say only what helps, each word a gift.” Ephesians 4:29 msg
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beautiful teenager pondering her gifts photo courtesy of Sydney Gass Photogaphy
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photo courtesy of Cary Anne Photography
FREE BOOK DEETS: Laura Anderson Kurk’s debut YA novel Glass Girl is available now. You can win a free copy by being one of the first twenty people to comment below, or share this post on Facebook or Tweet about it on Twitter. Just make sure to let me know if you FB or tweet, so you can be included in the drawing. 




12 Comments
Kay Dawdy
11/13/2012 11:23:12 pm

As someone who worked with adolescents for 33 years and was a Principal for grades six through eight for 25 of those years, I appreciate this article. Middle school is an especially difficult time to "be you." The "Golden Rule" goes a long way at any age, but when our bodies and thoughts are running ahead of us and things seem out of our control, it is such a blessing when someone steps up and says something positive to us. Suddenly our world doesn't seem quite so daunting.

Reply
Laura Kurk link
11/13/2012 11:36:41 pm

Hi, Kay! You have such powerful insight. Wish I could mine your brain for a few hours. You're right about the Golden Rule and how important it is in the halls of middle schools. Every step we take at that age feels shaky and somehow wrong. Just one word, or even an appropriately timed smile, can literally change a life. Thanks for your words!

Reply
Laura L. Smith link
11/14/2012 12:10:21 am

Laura you spread so many smiles and kind words. Thanks for the lovely example.

Laura L. Smith link
11/14/2012 12:09:07 am

Kay - thank you for the reminder of living the Golden Rule daily. Middle school is so hard, as you try to figure out who you really are and what that means. But, this is a good rule always. There are days I'm still figuring out who I am and making choices to be strong in the person God created me to be. And so is everyone else, so let's take Laura Kurk's challenge today to tell someone we know something we admire about them. Peace.

Reply
Amy Laundrie link
11/14/2012 12:44:25 am

I gave a genuine, heartfelt compliment and my friend was no longer grumpy. It IS fun to do!

Reply
Laura Kurk link
11/14/2012 12:47:57 am

Hey there, Amy! So cool! It definitely works. Plus it's fun to put some joy in the heart of someone else. Thanks!

Reply
Laura L. Smith link
11/14/2012 01:17:38 am

Yay Amy! Way to spread the sunshine. You're friend is lucky to have you :D

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Lynnea Squires
11/14/2012 04:10:55 am

An encouraging, kind thought or even just a smile really does go a long way I live my life to make someone elses day shine brighter even just by posts on facebook or saying something in person. As someone that has a heart for young girls I try to encourage them in ways they don't often get encouraged. Due to this I've been dubbed "Mama Nea" by many of them. I praise God for the opportunities to just be a friend to those who need it! :)

Reply
Laura L. Smith link
11/14/2012 04:52:34 am

I love the nickname "Mama Nea" (pronounced nay - right?). How blessed the young girls you encourage are. Thanks for all the times you shine Christ's light to others

Reply
Laura Kurk link
11/14/2012 07:28:00 am

You're exactly where God wants you, then. These girls need a force in their lives that keeps the boat from rocking too much. Glad to know they have you. Press on, mama nea, press on!

Reply
Lynnea Squires
11/14/2012 07:57:19 am

Thanks so much to both of you. Yes it's pronounced Nea! Also, thank you for saying that I'm right where God wants me that means more to me than you realize at this point in my life! Praise God for you both and the encouragement that you just gave me! <3

Laura L. Smith link
11/16/2012 11:13:49 pm

Hooray for Lynnea - wow that rhymes! We just did the drawing and you won the copy of Laura Kurk's Glass Girl. Congrats! Go to the contact Laura tab on the top of my site and you can send me your address in a private message. I'll get it to Laura Kurk, so she can mail you the book. Also, please let us know how you'd like the book signed.

Reply



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