Is there anyone in your life who makes you angry? You don’t want them to. You wish they wouldn’t. But either because of something they’ve done to you or someone you care about, they make you cringe or cry or both. The answer for me is yes. There is someone in my life who loved me and betrayed me. Someone who cared for me and emotionally battered me. There is someone who has scarred one of the people I love most in this world, and in turn hurt me. I struggle with this. I pray about this, but I continue to tussle with this relationship. Jesus teaches us to love one another. So I try to continue to love despite the hurt and the fear of being hurt again. Jesus says to forgive someone seven times seventy times. So I try to forgive, but the memories still haunt me and the scars still ache. While reading Everything by Mary De Muth I came across a passage that challenged me. It made me stop reading and get up and doodle around on Facebook. Not because her words made me think of a friend I needed to touch base with, but because I wasn’t ready to face what these words meant to me. “In that painful space, we have a choice: punish those who hurt us through control, or lay our hurt at the feet of the One who understands. Our task shouldn’t be punishing the villains in our lives, but enlarging the God who heals us from all wounds.” Mary De Muth Most of us are familiar with the Star Wars story. In the final episode Luke Skywalker faces his father, Darth Vader. Darth used to be a powerful Jedi fighting for good in the galaxy. Greed for power turned him into an evil leader using “the force” for wickedness. Luke has reason to be angry. Vader’s boss, Emperor Palpatine, urges Luke while watching this confrontation in Return of the Jedi, “Give in to your anger. With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant.” Sounds like someone else I know. Someone nagging in my head, urging me to cave to anger to make bad choices, hoping I’ll turn away from Christ, the force, which brings me life and love. I find solace and strength in Luke Skywalker’s response. “Never. I'll never turn to the Dark Side. You've failed, your highness. I am a Jedi.” Luke lowers his blade and chooses love. Do I have the strength to say it? “Never. I’ll never turn to the dark side. Satan – you’ve failed. I am a Christian.” Wow. That feels good. Just typing it here with you today. If you’re feeling gutsy say it out loud. In Holly Starr’s song, I Love You Anyway, she sings, “There will be times I remember the things that you’ve done to me. But I will choose love and forgive you for everything.” Words to live by. Choose love. May God’s force be with you.
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I’m a planner, an organizer, and a calendar maker extraordinaire. I have four kids, which means a fun-filled crazy, busy life. If I don’t stay on top of all the practices, assignments, to-dos and errands they crawl on top of me, and smother me.
However, despite all of my color-coding and lists, I have to remember that I am not the one in control. God is. On a family trip to Italy we needed to check out of our apartment in Florence prior to the proprietor’s arrival to make our train to Venice on time. We dutifully took out our trash, stripped our sheets and dropped our keys in the drop box. We rolled our suitcases thumpety-thump down the cobblestone streets to the metro, took the metro to the train station and boarded our train, surprised to see an entire class of Italian school children filling our car and our seats. I spoke with a lovely teacher whose English was even worse than my Italian. We exchanged tickets, but couldn’t figure out how we all had the same seat assignments. Together we searched for a conductor, who just as the train began its departure told us to sit tight. We’d sort it all out en route. We situated ourselves in corners and nooks, plugged in our ear buds and flipped through books until about an hour into the ride when the conductor came to punch the tickets I’d ordered months ago on the Eurorail website. “Ecco.” Here you go. I presented ours to him, proud of my Italian expression. He shook his head with a sneer. “These are for tomorrow.” “What?” “Today is Wednesday. These are for Thursday.” He said briskly, not feeling my panic, my pain, and my well-executed plans in a tangle. “How- how could that be?” The words tumbled from my mouth. My brain churned. He pointed to the date on the tickets, which were indeed for the next day. I grabbed my travel file and frantically flipped through the itineraries. I turned to my hubby and gasped in a stressed whisper, “How did this happen? I don’t understand? Where will we stay in Venice tonight? We’ll be a day early.” “You cannot continue to Venice.” The conductor’s voice was freakishly flat for an Italian. “Wh-what? Wh-why?” Silently he pulled out his calculator and typed in seemingly hundreds of numbers. Eventually he turned the display to me. “This is your fine for riding the train without a proper ticket. You must depart at the next stop - Bologna. You may use your ticket tomorrow to get you from Bologna to Venice.” A lengthy list of questions from me to the train worker didn’t clear up any of my concerns. The fine was enormous. We knew no one in Bologna and had no hotel booked for our four children, my mom and ourselves. We’d forfeited a prepaid night in Florence. Not to mention the blow to my ego that I’d majorly botched our travel plans and let my family down! My stomach was like a pulverized pizza. My face hotter than the Tuscan sun. My hands shook like our train car on rickety tracks. We paid our fine, gathered our group and got off the train in Bologna, the beautiful city of Bologna, home of robust spaghetti alla Bolognese, one of the oldest Universities in Europe, an active political community and ancient basilicas. In Bologna we stayed in the nicest hotel of our trip, complete with luxury air conditioning and an all you could eat breakfast buffet piled high with Italian pastries and made to order cappuccino. We witnessed a heated protest by impassioned university students, noshed on zesty pizza margarita (for a fraction of a price of what we paid for it in Florence) strolled through the historic university and visited the crowning jewel, San Luca. San Luca, named for Saint Luke, as in the gospel writer, sits at the top of approximately 300 steps covered by romantic porticoes supported by 666 arches and overlooks the lush city of Bologna from its hilltop perch. On a 70 degree, sunny day breathing in the architecture, gazing at the sapphire blue sky, marveling at history dating back to the gospels, intoxicated by a strong spiritual presence and surrounded by the people I love most in the world, I couldn’t imagine anything lovelier. Then, two young boys pulled out their violins and played an impromptu hauntingly beautiful concert in the grassy area outside the church, providing the soundtrack for my moment. My planner said I should be in Florence that day. I thought I was supposed to be in Venice that day. But God knew, there was no place on earth better for me on that day than in Bologna. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. Jeremiah 29:11 MSG Tell me below - where are you planning to go this week? Where will you let God take you if only you let Him? My book HOT is FREE on Kindle this week:
http://www.amazon.com/Hot-Novel-Bonus-Content-ebook/dp/B007F0IXS4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1343300942&sr=8-1&keywords=hot+by+laura+smith This is the main character's, Lindsey's, blog: I haven’t been to youth group in a while. There. I admitted it. I feel so guilty about skipping; I’m not sure what to do, or how to get back into my routine. I love youth group. I really do. Our youth pastor is young and goofy and totally gets it. The band rocks. I mean it. I would rather sink into the squishy giant pillows on the barn floor where we meet on Sunday nights and jam to that band than listen to my iPod! But here’s the deal. I’m in the middle of some stuff -- big crummy, confusing stuff. My sister’s life could be an episode on 90210. My parents are all tuned into her station and her station only, even during commercial breaks. And my boyfriend, I mean my ex-boyfriend, Noah, well I still secretly adore him. I’m still crazy about him because, mmmm, because Noah smells like minty gum, and his hand feels so warm and strong and safe when it holds my tiny hand. Did I mention he has these dark forest green eyes and he’s so tall I have to stand on my tippy toes to look into them? He’s also one of the kindest and sweetest people I know, and he completely understands me. I broke up with him. I know. It sounds crazy. But, I had to for now. Things got too out of control, and we needed to slow down. I needed to slow down and get back to who I am, to who God made me to be. I know it’s the right thing, but it is so hard. This brings me back to youth group, because Noah goes to youth group too. And the real reason I haven’t been going, is him. It’s one thing to see Noah across the cafeteria at school. But in the barn? It will be so awkward. I won’t know where to sit. My best friend, Emma, and I used to always sit with him and his friends. Emma hasn’t been going to youth group either, which has made it easier to skip. All Noah’s friends will make comments under their breaths. The people who don’t know we broke up will ask why we’re not sitting together. And I’ll have to look at him and not feel his warm leg next to my leg and not smell him or hear his smooth, soothing voice. I’m not ready. Hmmm? The voice in my head, which I know is God, says it’s time. He says he’ll be there for me. Really? How cool is that? But is that enough God? There will be a whole lot of other people there too. And they’ll make it hard. He says to remember that youth group isn’t about who sits next to who or who wears what but about getting closer to Him. He says His grace is enough. Right. I knew that. Sometimes, I just forget. Okay, I just need to stay focused on God. Easier said than done, but possible. With God’s grace I can do this. I think I’ll call Emma and try to con her into going with me. 2 Corinthians 12:8 My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Where did you go today? What did you wear? What did you take with you?
I started the day with yoga. Wearing my comfy gray yoga pants and stretchy gray and black tank, I grabbed my mat, my rec center ID, my hot pink water bottle and slid on my flip-flops. After a trip home for a quickie shower and a wardrobe change into a black sundress and a zillion bracelets, my next stop was a writing session at my local coffee shop, Kofenya. I packed my MacBook, extension cord, cell phone, wallet and of course my coffee cup for the excursion. This afternoon I’ll head to the pool. I’ll need to slip on a bikini, pack my sunscreen (both spray and Neutrogena face formula), a towel, my Kindle, my U2 cap (to prevent sun damage), my straw cup full of H20 and a snack. We, as a society, carry around so much stuff. And it’s even more fun when we get to carry it around in cute bags! But Jesus challenges us to do something different. He sent the disciples out on their life’s work with a walking stick and the clothes and shoes they already had on. These were his instructions: “Take nothing for the journey except a staff—no bread, no bag, no money in your belts. 9 Wear sandals but not an extra shirt. Mark 6: 8-9 NIV I’ve changed shoes three times today! IS His call to all of us exactly the same? Not exactly, but kind of. He might call you to teach or nurture or share a smile. You might be called to sing or paint or score or hug or listen or lead or follow. He has a plan for you. But do we need all this baggage we carry around to live out this plan? Not exactly. Jesus still calls us to spread His word – every day, everywhere we go – whether that’s shopping or hanging out with friends or going to class or working out with our team or working or spending time with family. He calls us to be His light. So what do we need to bring? That’s the easy one. Him. If I forget my sunscreen, I can sit under the shelter when I’m not in the pool. If I wear a normal t-shirt to yoga I’ll still be able to do my best downward dog. If I forget my travel cup at the coffee shop, they have mugs. So where are you going today? Where has Jesus called you to go? I’d love to hear about it. And don’t forget to pack the most important thing – Jesus. You have it all taken care of, right?
You have a date with the Big Man scheduled in your Blackberry on recurring for every day. You have a regular prayer time, a routine for reading the Word, a group you meet with either on Sundays or during the week to talk about your relationship with Jesus. It’s like clockwork. Until you go on summer vacation. And we all know vacation is a temporary thing, but time away from the Lord is bad any way you slice it. And sometimes, on vacation is when you need Him the most. So, how do you keep up with your relationship with God when you’re on the road, at camp, at a relative’s house or as distant from real life as a foreign country? When everything about your normal schedule is out of whack, how do you stay in sync with Jesus? In today’s electronic age it’s easier than ever before. You have a Smartphone. You have a laptop or access to a computer at your aunt’s house or hotel lobby. You have a sense of adventure. You’re all set. Bible reading is a piece of cake online with www.biblegateway.com. You can look up any chapter or verse in almost any translation. Don’t have access to a computer? There’s an App for that – YouVersion – The Bible App – touts more translations than you’ll ever be able to read, bookmarks your spot for you, and has a search engine to help you find any chapter or verse on demand. Churches are everywhere. So, it’s not your home church. So, it’s a little different. It’s still a group of Christians gathering together to proclaim God’s word, sing His praises and pray to Him. Find one with beautiful stained glass or an interesting history. Focus on the cross and the music and the readings for this week. If you’re out of the country, a church service in another language can still be amazingly spiritual and uplifting. The architecture and history of ancient European churches create a sense of awe, and help you realize how important God has been to generations upon generations. Now, that you have the actual Word at your fingertips and at least a Sunday service to attend, how do you supplement it with discussion, advice, inspiration? There are so many cool opportunities on the web! Encounter Magazine has The Scene that takes a current event and tackles its relationship to scripture each week. You can download it at http://encounterface2face.com/category/the-scene/ and work through it personally. There are hundreds of churches that have podcasts of their sermons and inspirational speakers have podcasts for more online immersion in Jesus. Find one that meets your needs – male, female, sister, brother, athlete, musician, artist, dancer, bookworm, outgoing, shy, highschooler, homeschooler on-your-way-to-collegegoer -- there’s a website, a blog, a speaker on the internet who speaks directly to your heart via Jesus. Find them on your favorite search engine, plug in and make it part of your day. You don’t have to stop with scripture and sermons. Download your favorite Christian tunes onto your iPod and an inspirational read onto your Kindle app, iBooks or e-reader for further immersion. Just like at home where you had a set time of day, you need to commit to a daily date with God on the road. Do you wake up before the rest of the family or stay up past the rest of your crew – this alone time is perfect for you to hang out with Jesus. If your travels give you a little down time every day after lunch, make it then. Do you schedule a daily run? How about right before or after that workout? But remember wherever you are, your Creator is there within your heart. He’s ready to chat, listen, comfort, encourage or just hang out whether you’re at home or on the road. Jesus wants to be your best friend wherever you go. So, even when you’re in new surroundings, you can still surround yourself with the Lord. Where are you traveling this summer? How do you like to incorporate your spirituality with your travels? It’s vacation time! How many pairs of shoes are too many? Flip-flops? Running shoes? Heels? How can you feel good, look good and enjoy your time at the beach all in one small suitcase?
1. Leave your flat iron, curling iron and hair dryer at home. At the beach ponytails reign, caps are cute and windblown messy tresses constitute as coveted “beach hair”. 2. Skip the eyeliner, eye shadow and blush. It’ll just run in the sun and pool anyway. You’re number one cosmetic here is sunscreen. I’m loving the Neutrogena Clear Face SPF 55 for my face – it goes on smooth and creamy and any high SPF spray to cover my body. A little waterproof mascara and lip-gloss compliment your sun-kissed glow better than any of the must have new products. 3. Forget about labels. It doesn’t matter if your swimsuit is from the hand-me-down sack or from Saks. Everyone has one, and after being on vacation over a week I have not seen a single duplicate swimsuit – not one. Wear your favorite color, style, something you feel comfortable in, but leave comparisons behind. 4. I’m crazy about bracelets. I love the way they clink against each other and the way they tumble down my wrists. But on vacation I just brought one – a silver and black bangle made by a Guatemalan woman out of pop-tops and cord. I brought one pair of earrings – smooth, silver hoops, and one necklace – a heavy, funky silver cross. All of these pieces match everything I’ve packed. They all express my look. But instead of fumbling for the earrings that best match my outfit or the necklace that hangs just right, I’m already out the door singing along with the acoustic guitarist to “Brown-Eyed Girl”. 5. I find great joy in putting together outfits and accessorizing them with the right belt or scarf. But on vacation I have what I have – one suitcase with a small combination of mix and match pieces I’ll wear over and over. Without all the choices, I get ready quickly, feeling good about myself because I packed my favorite staples; jean shorts, a hot pink sundress, a funky black and white mini and a handful of soft black tanks, white tees, a black hoodie plus one silky scarf that matches all of it. The beach makeover teaches us we don’t need all that stuff – all that primping and fussing and shifting through our closets. Less is more. When I get to the basics, I remember that God created me as I am. He wants me to present myself well, but he doesn’t want me fussing endlessly with my “look”. Neither do I – not when there are grainy sand castles to build, foamy waves to ride, sweet frothy frappuccinos to sip, golden sunsets to marvel, miracles to discover and laughter to share. The ultimate beach makeover isn’t spending time changing me, but being more comfortable with who I am, so I can enjoy God’s creation. How can you spend less time stressing about your appearance and more time savoring life today? When I walk out here, the first thing I hear is silence. In the midst of my crazy-wazy life filled with the ting of a text, the zing of a message, the chimes of a call, the voices of my family, the din of the TV, the to-do’s calling to me in my head, I walk out here and there is the absence of all that noise.
I can close the door from the house to the porch, so no on even knows I’m here. Nobody follows, and for a moment I am alone – alone with my thoughts, my heart, and my Creator. And He has such incredible surprises for me. After a moment or two of me trying to regain a normal breathing pattern, one that isn’t stressed, or hurried or worried, I realize it isn’t silent out here at all. I hear the rustle of a squirrel scampering through the woods. An unseen bird calls shrilly to a friend. The friend whistles back. A woodpecker rat-a-tats the bark of a tree. Inhale. Exhale. The earthy smell of soil mixed with the sharp tart scent of leaves heated by sunlight fills the air. The warmth of natural sunlight soothes my skin after the mechanical blast of air conditioner running through my house, my car, the mall. Here – away from the artificial noise and manufactured smells and machine powered air – there is peace. Reds and pinks and yellows and oranges shade the sky with spectacular sunsets. Light filters in dusty streams through branches. Greens so bright, they almost appear lit from within stagger along my line of sight. Don’t get me wrong. I’m extremely attached to my iPhone and my Mac. I’m thankful for AC on a 93 degree steamy summer day. I love my car, my house, my family and the mall. But sometimes it’s all too much. Sometimes I need a retreat. And here it is, steps away from my life. Here, I can contemplate what God’s calling me to do today – who He needs me to forgive, what He wants me to let go of, how He wants me to trust Him, how I can be an example of His love. Here, there appears to be a path right through the woods that leads to Him. I cannot stay out on my porch forever. I need to live my life and do that forgiving, letting go, trusting and loving God calls me to do. Not to mention those to-do’s that still need to be to-done. But, I can find a moment to come out here and get refocused, refueled and refreshed. Do you have a special place to find a moment of peace and clarity? Where is it? Last summer, while checking into our hotel in Dresden, Germany I had the treat of meeting soccer legend, Brandi Chastain. She had her hair pulled into a ponytail was wearing a gray t-shirt, navy blue athletic shorts and cleats. She was kicking a pink Nike soccer ball in the hotel lobby. Yes, in the lobby. She is the woman known for kicking the winning penalty kick to win the U.S. Women’s National team the World Cup in 1999. She was in Dresden to be one of the lead ESPN announcers for the World Cup, speaking to tens of thousands of television viewers for two weeks straight.
When I asked Brandi what advice she had for young people who wanted to be soccer stars, she said, “Do it everyday. Kick it, pass it, dribble it, every day. When I was young, I kicked the ball against the side of the house for an hour every day. I got to know the ball so well, and how it would bounce off the house and where it would go if I tapped it a certain way and how to kick it back if it came to me a certain way, that when I was on the field, when I was in a game, I never had to think. I knew exactly what to do.” The same is true for whatever it is you want to achieve in life. For writers, like me, it means writing something every day. Stephen King says it in his book, On Writing. Anne LaMott says it in Bird by Bird. Do it everyday. That doesn’t have to be writing five chapters of my next novel. It could be a blog or a character sketch or a review of someone else’s work. But each day, I need to be conscious of word choice, descriptions, rhythms and flows of words. You want to learn how to cook? Chef up a meal every day. It could be scrambled eggs or a grilled cheese sandwich, but if you do it everyday, you’ll figure out too much salt makes your eggs taste like potato chips and how long to let your grilled cheese sizzle to get the cheese to melt to a perfect gooey consistency. If you want to get closer to God, read a chapter of the Bible every day and contemplate it. I promise you’ll get closer to Him. No matter what instrument you play, your instructor will ask you to practice every day. Play your scales. Work on the hardest part of your piece. Soon your ears will know the difference between a C sharp and a B flat. Your fingers will know how to move along the keys of a piano or the frets of a guitar. If your goal is to become a teacher, explain something to someone every day. It could be how to take care of a tortoise or how to French braid hair or plant pansies, or anything, but the more you practice explaining things to people, the better you’ll be at it. I promise. So, get going. Today, tomorrow and the day after that – do your thing. As Dr. Seuss said, “You’re off to great places, today is your day.” Today can be your day. You just need to get started. What can you do on a daily basis to help you achieve your dream? Where am I going to sit? How many times in a day, week, month, year, lifetime do you ask yourself that question? It could be in class, at lunch, at a meeting, at church, at the pool, on the bus, at a ball game, but it’s always the same loaded question. There is so much implication about the seats we choose. There’s positioning – near the front or back, or higher up or closer to the speaker/teacher. There’s with who – with people like us, with people different than us, with our friends, with someone who looks lonely or away from everyone else. There’s status – the brownnosers sit there, the slackers sit there, the popular people sit here, the rich people sit there, the stoners sit here, the prudes sit there. Where should you sit? WWJS? Where would Jesus sit? The answer is Jesus could sit anywhere and feel completely comfortable. And he did sit anywhere. He sat with tax collectors and fishermen and soldiers and prostitutes and priests and lepers. He sat on boats and mountains and temples and palaces and huts. Where does he want you to sit? That question takes time and introspection to understand the person he created you to be – to find the best qualities about yourself, your unique talents, abilities and gifts and how you can use them to glorify him. Are you a good listener? Can you pitch a mean curve ball? Does your voice sound like a bird? Maybe you can do complicated math problems in your head. How do these gifts fit into who he wants you to be? Once you figure that out, you’ve found your chair – the seat he’s reserved especially for you. For me, that means four special chairs. I am the most empowered and uplifted when I am: 1. Holding a Bible 2. With my hubby 3. Snuggling one of my kiddos 4. Typing on a keyboard When I am doing any of those things I know that God has a purpose for me, that I am loved, that I have talents which I am using, that I can accomplish what I set out to do, because of the first three things on this list. Thankfully, God’s chairs for us are less like thrones and more like the chairs I sit in at soccer games – portable. Because tomorrow and the day after that and all the days of my life I’ll enter places and I’ll wonder where to sit. But I don’t have to worry about the implications of which pew or bleacher or chair I choose, because I’ll bring my own chairs with me – the ones that remind me that God created me to be a wife and a mother and a writer, and as long as I stay true to those things I’ll be comfy wherever I unfold my chair and prop it up. Where is Jesus calling you to “sit” today? Control. We all want it. We all strive for it. Whether it is
control over what grade we get in a class, what we eat for dinner, what projects we’ll be assigned at work, how a relationship will work, what channel we’re watching – we want to be able to call the shots, make the decisions, have a say in how and why and when. Today was the first snowfall of the year. I woke up to a majestic world frosted in pure white icing. With the beauty came the crisp, cold air, fresh and pure, seemingly cleansing my lungs as I stepped out of the garage and inhaled deeply. The drive uptown to fetch my morning coffee usually takes me five minutes, only three when the college students are gone for Christmas break. But this morning the roads were slick. Cars inched along the roads, even though the dusting of snow was barely an inch deep. I drove cautiously, in no hurry, nothing I had to rush to get to, taking in the spectacular scenery. A few minutes later, venti Italian roast with a shot of chocolate in hand, I got back in my car. I took a sip of the dark, rich warmth and turned the key. At the first stop sign my antilock brakes ground and squealed and crunched under my foot, but my car did not stop. I kept going right through the stop sign, even though I’d only been cruising at about seven miles an hour. Thankfully, our college town is all but deserted while the students are away, and no other cars were in sight. But, I didn’t stop. I wanted to stop. I tried to stop. I did all of the things I normally do to stop. And yet, my car didn’t stop. I was not in control. I whispered a prayer of thanks that there were no other cars around, that despite me driving through a stop sign no one was hurt. I then turned off the side road, back towards the main road, hoping for smoother sailing. But, as I turned, my car fishtailed, zigging and zagging across both lanes of the small street. Again, there were no cars in my way. No one was hurt. But, this was another strong reminder that I AM NOT IN CONTROL. As a new year begins, I always make a list of goals for the year – things I plan on working to accomplish in the upcoming 365 days. I know this is an important exercise. It is critical to be intentional on how I spend my time or else my time gets spent for me. It is helpful for me to look out twelve months to see the potential the year has, to think of ways I can stretch my faith, my mind, my body, my relationships, my writing in the coming year. Just like I need to have a full tank of gas, air in my tires, directions to where I’m going and the key to my car to make it go, I need a plan for my life and my time. I need to drive the speed limit, stay on the right side of the road, and step on the brake when there is a stop sign, or else there would be accidents. People would get hurt. There would be danger and chaos. God wants me to plan and work and strive as if it all depends on me. But, sometimes I step on the brake and I don’t stop. Sometimes, despite my lists and goals and plans, He has something else in mind. He needs me to remember, that in the end, it all depends on Him. |
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