You are beautiful. You are priceless. You are made in the image of God. You are His treasure, His masterpiece. The Creator of the Universe created you and me, and He loves us just like we are. But some days we don’t see it. Some days we can’t. We lose sight of our true reflections.
There are days when we fail to believe that we have value, or tend to distort our self worth as the images and comparisons of the world barrage us with the false pretense that we need to be perfect, as the world defines perfect, and that we need to reach that level of perfection all of the time. We don’t. We’re already perfect in God’s eyes. Let me say that again. In God’s eyes you are perfect! Just the way you are.
But there are days when we trip and fall, when we can’t pay the bill, can’t do the balance in yoga, don’t get the joke, are left out of the conversation, aren’t invited to the party. There are the days we get horrifying news, we get rejected, and we fail. And it’s hard to remember that our true reflection is that of beauty. It’s hard to find anything of value left within us. But it is so worth seeking.
How do we find our true reflections? I urge you to go on a treasure hunt today to remind yourself of who you are—Christ’s masterpiece.
Hang out with people who love you for your true self. You are more valuable than gold, and you’ll be reminded of this by the people who truly understand and appreciate you.
Dig for your true reflection in The Word of God. Use these coordinates to unearth the treasure of who God created you to be:
Discover your full potential by doing something you love. Are you energized by a run? Go on one today and allow the adrenaline to course through your veins reminding yourself that you are strong and capable. Does music soothe your soul? Sit down at the piano bench and let the notes flow from you, reminding you of the beauty you can create. When we do the things God made us to do, we realize more fully our capabilities and worth.
DIDN’T I SAY SOMETHING ABOUT FREE BOOKS?
Amy Parker’s children’s books also remind us how much God loves us. Her two new releases Night Night Mommy and Night Night Daddy are treasures in themselves. Amy is giving away free, autographed copies of her new books all over the country and has asked me to join in the fun. For a treasure map of where to find the books click on her website, AND….for any of my readers who live near Oxford, Ohio, a copy of each of these books have been hidden within your reach. Wouldn’t it be awesome if you could find one and read it to someone small reminding them how awesome they are, how loving our God is? Who knows, you might just be reminded how much God loves you, too.
Find the free books, keep, read, share or pass them along. It’s not that tricky.
Clue #1 Night Night Mommy It's easy if you Tri, just go to the front door and open your eye
Clue #2 Night Night Daddy This used to be a place for only women students to live, now it's a place for artists to dance, sing, paint and give
Is anybody on the hunt for the books? Leave a comment describing your treasure hunting adventures and how they pan
Last week my husband was complaining of headaches.
Last week I kept looking in the mirror and thinking I looked pasty, like strangely pale.
Turns out he was making himself his usual two shots of espresso each morning, but he was using the decaf. Ouch!
Turns out, the new bottle of foundation I bought was two shades lighter than I normally get. Ew!
Brett had fooled himself into thinking his dose of caffeine would wake him up, and I was tricking myself into believing my make-up would even out my skin tone. It was unintentional, but it was our faults, because we weren’t looking hard enough at the truth. We were in too much of a hurry, too much of a routine, felt like we had it all under control, when clearly we did not. But the result of all of our self-imposed hoodwinking was both of our heads were messed up. Gheesh! You’d think we could count on ourselves!
But we are guilty of self-imposed unintentional deception. We tell ourselves lies. All the time.
“If I just lost five pounds.”
“If I just had a job lined up.”
“If I just played for that team.”
“If I just got this deal.”
“If I just looked like/sounded like/performed like her.”
And the result of lying to ourselves about our worth—that we would be better off if we were different—is much more damaging than a headache or looking ghostly. We tell ourselves we’re not enough. And when we do that, we take away from the beautiful creations God made us to be.
Why do we deceive ourselves? Why do we fall into the routines of life, rushing around in a hurry without taking the time to open our eyes and examine the truth?
But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God’s instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you—from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted. 1 Peter 2:9-10
We are chosen by God. Chosen for high work. Chosen to be holy. He loved us so much He died for us. He must love us, immensely, if He was willing to die for us. To Christ we matter. To Him we have value. To Him we are not something to be rejected. He has already accepted us, fully. Why would we ever tell ourselves otherwise?
I mean the world tricks us plenty. You’d be happier if you drank this beer, wore these yoga pants, had this hairstyle, etc. The world cajoles us into thinking we have to look or act a certain way, that we need a prom date or an SUV, that we need to live in a certain neighborhood or have a certain relationship status to be content. The world makes us believe who we are and what we do is not enough.
God tells us the opposite. God loves us for who we are, exactly who we are. He doesn’t care how many miles we logged, how many points we scored, which income bracket we fall into, or if we check married, single, divorced, or widow on our tax returns. He just loves us. For us. Because He made us. Exactly how we are.
It’s time to discard both the lies the world is telling us today, and the ways we’re deceiving ourselves. We need to take time to focus on how excellently formed and marvelously functioning we truly are, exactly as we are. We need to run with this truth, embrace and own it, without ever worrying about how we measure up or compare to someone else, because that’s just messing up our pretty priceless heads. We need to instead just go ahead and be what we were made to be, our own true beautiful reflections.
Are you rushing around believing what’s in front of you, because it’s there, because it’s easy? Are you conning yourself into how you can be energized or how you can feel beautiful? Or are you taking time to examine the truth? The truth that God loves you. Are you deceiving yourself today? Telling yourself you’re not enough? Telling yourself you fall short? That if you just did (fill in the blank) you'd be better? Take a breath. Open your eyes. Wider. Look at what’s really going on. Examine who you truly are. Because you are more than enough for the one true King, therefore, you are enough.
So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ’s body, let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren’t. Romans 12:6
Life isn’t a fairy tale. But in the 2007 movie Enchanted it is. Well, until the beautiful Disney cartoon damsel gets thrown into a well by the wicked stepmother and gets catapulted into the scary land known as dun dun dun Manhattan. As out of place and crazy as Giselle, the idyllic princess, seems when she lands in New York, she does something we don’t do enough, something I don’t do enough. She boldly and unaffectedly notices and comments on the true beauty of individuals around her.
When Robert and his daughter spy Giselle helpless and stranded in the Big Apple, they take pity on her and let her stay with them for the night. The next morning, Robert’s girlfriend, Nancy, arrives at the apartment and throws a fit when she finds another woman there. Nancy full of New York style and attitude couldn’t be more different than Giselle (who showed up the night before in the poufiest dress in the history of the world and her hair in mounds of ringlets). But instead of noticing their differences, or returning Nancy’s snarky comments, or questioning why Nancy isn’t dressed in ribbons and ruffles, Giselle sincerely exclaims, “Oh, she is lovely.”
Later in the film, Giselle approaches a woman in Robert’s office and says, “Oh my goodness, your hair is lovely. You’re beautiful. The man who holds your heart is a lucky fellow indeed.” And to the woman’s husband, who is in the midst of divorcing his wife, Giselle proclaims, “You are lucky, just look at the way your wife’s eyes sparkle.”
Do you approach strangers and compliment them that specifically?
You don’t have to say it like Giselle—in princess speak—but imagine approaching someone, looking them in the eye, and saying:
Why not? What’s holding you back? What if we truly noticed beauty in everyone? In Matthew 5:14, Jesus tells us, “You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world.” Are we shining that light? Are we brightening those around us, illuminating their true beauty?
It sounds totally dorky. But why? Why have we embraced such a satirical state that genuinely approaching friends, let alone strangers, and telling them how marvelous they are feels weird? We’ve been called to cheer others on. Paul explains it like this in Ephesians 5: 17,19 Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is… Speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs.
Giselle wasn’t too far off, singing all the time.
When someone genuinely compliments me, it makes my day brighter, so why wouldn’t I take opportunities to shine light like that to others? I’m not talking stalker style. I’m not talking insincere, fake compliments either. I mean truly noticing the beauty and talents of those around us just as we notice the beauty of a flower or appreciate the flavor of a decadent brownie.
Think what a difference we could make if each of us gave an authentic compliment to a stranger today. Tomorrow I’m attending a prayer service at my kids’ school, running a few errands, and taking one of my children to soccer practice. I have multiple opportunities to identify and point out true beauty in others. I’m challenging myself, and you, too, to seek true beauty in someone the next place you go. Who knows whose day we could brighten? It could lighten someone’s dark mood, bring a smile to someone on the verge of tears, give hope to someone feeling hopeless. A compliment could remind one of God’s beautiful children of their beautiful true reflection.
I’d love to hear, leave a comment on the blog sharing how do you plan on shining some light today?
I always suspected that there was something of goodness in me, but I just couldn’t find it. Until one day—one day I discovered it here, in my heart. I found it…goodness. And ever since that day, I have always known who I was. And now, nothing can touch me. ~Miguel
How does a gang member in Los Angeles find his goodness? Racial tension is ugly. Gang violence is ugly. Drugs are ugly. Los Angeles County is home to over 1100 active gangs comprising over 86,000 people. According to the LAPD, in the last three years over 16,400 violent crimes were attributed to gangs in the City of Angels. How can someone possibly find his or her worth in the midst of this?
Miguel found his beauty thanks to Father Greg Boyle, a Jesuit priest in Los Angeles who didn’t look at the drugs, or the crimes, or the violence, he didn’t look at the different ethnicities, or the rap sheets of his parishioners, but he looked at them as humans—as humans who were struggling to find and believe in their true value. Boyle saw a way to help gang members like Miguel find the true beauty not only in themselves, but in each other. He knew if the teens could start fresh, get a high school diploma, get a job, they could break cycles of poverty, be less reliant on the drug trade; begin to understand that they had skills and gifts. When Fr. Greg, or as his friends call him, “G”, talked to these teens, they wanted to go to school. But the schools wouldn’t take them, not with their records, their backgrounds. So, Boyle created a school for them.
And when they graduated who would hire them? As Boyle explained when I saw him speak in Cincinnati, “Surprisingly there wasn’t much of a job market for ex convicts.” Insert laughter of the crowd here. But again, the barriers of society didn’t stop G. He put on his entrepreneur hat and started his own company, Homeboy Bakery. Its purpose is “to create an environment that provides training, work experience and above all, the opportunity for rival gang members to work side by side.” Side by side? As in teaching people who have been raised to hate one another to appreciate each another, to respect one another. Boyle challenged listeners during his talk, “We belong to each other. How do we bridge the gap?” He continued to explain his motivation to bring these gang members together and to give them purpose, “What Jesus took seriously was inclusion and acceptance.” Good point.
Did it work? You bet. Not only did Homeboy Bakery take off, but it was the catalyst for Homeboy Industries, which now includes multiple businesses. It is recognized as the largest gang intervention and re-entry program in the world. The jobs, the opportunities, the new life Homeboy Industries has given the poor, marginalized, desperate gang population in L.A. blows me away. But what blows me away even more is story after story about how people who hated each other now love each other. Fr. Greg told one story about “homies” who just a few months ago were shooting bullets at each other, and now they’re shooting texts at one another”. He told more tales of individuals who had always despised each other who are now not only working side by side, but calling each other “brother” and “friend”. A miracle? Not really. Because this is how Jesus always envisioned things. Treating each other as we would like to be treated. But is it easy? Are we doing a good job at keeping the Golden Rule?
How did Fr. Greg do it? He saw these individuals for the beautiful creations they were made to be. He recognized their true beauty. He proclaims, “It is our job to hold the mirror up, tell people they are exactly what God had in mind when He made them, and watch people grow into that truth.”
What if we took a lesson from Father Greg, sought beauty in all humans, realized we all have potential, we all have talents, we all deserve to be loved? How can I hold up a mirror for someone else today? How can you? Show someone who they truly are, that they are exactly what God intended when He made them? We can start with ourselves. Go find a mirror, gaze into it, and say out loud, “You are exactly what God had in mind when He made you.” And we can watch ourselves grow into our own true beautiful reflections. Then we can point others towards the mirror, and let beautiful ripple effects take over.
While grabbing an apple in the kitchen to fight off a mid-day stomach growl, I heard an erratic banging from the dining room. I peeked around the corner to spy a large black bird flapping his wings and flying straight toward one of the windows--crash—hitting it so hard, he fell back to the ground in a feathered heap. Was he dead? How long had he been down here? How in the world did a bird get in our house?
The bird quickly answered my first question—he was not dead—by rearranging his body, raising his wings and aiming straight toward another window, only to repeat the whole crashing and crumpling scene. A close-up wild bird is very different than gazing at one flittering through the trees. He appeared so much gawkier, louder, and infinitely crazier. My instinct was to get him OUT! But he was like a lunatic, also probably severely concussed, so I avoided his hysterical flapping (I did not want him plummeting into me) by ducking through the hallway to open the front door. I swung the wooden door in and the storm door out, sliding the catch so it would stay open, all while talking to the bird as if it were a toddler, “Come on bird. Here’s the door. You can go outside now. Here you go.” But where did he go? He was nowhere in sight.
I followed my ears to the clatter of colliding and flapping in the living room. He must have snuck in this room, like one of those secret passageways in Clue—where you can go straight from the Conservatory to the Lounge even though they’re on opposite ends of the game board. He had tricks up his feathered sleeves, and he was now head-banging against the window in his new room. When he fell to the floor. Again. I rushed past him to open the back door leading to our screened-in porch “Alright, bird. Come on out to the porch. I’ll get this door open for you too, or the front door’s still an option. Either one works for me.”
I got the screen door open and finally remembered to breathe as he soared onto the porch. Brilliant. Until he crashed straight into one of the screens. I now know the origin of the word “birdbrain”. I closed off the porch, so he couldn’t get back in the house, and kept talking to him while shooing him time after time in the direction of the exit. After several crash and burns, he flew outside. I slammed and latched the door behind him.
Finally free of the problem of having a large bird flopping around my home, I pondered how he ever got so misplaced that he ended up here, that he thought he wanted to be in our house instead of out in the open where he belonged? How did he get so confused, distracted that he couldn’t distinguish glass or screens from air, from wide-open spaces? I considered how the more exhausted and anxious he got, the more he seemed to spin out of control.
But I do it too. Do you? Do you ever run into the same wall time and time again? Trying to do it all by yourself, ignoring the voice coaching you out to freedom
Instead of embracing the trees and sky where God has placed you, do you ever seek something you’re not suited for, somewhere unbecoming of the beautiful being God created you to be? Have you ever banged your head on the glass thinking it might be a way out, crashed into a screen when you’ve flown a little too high or too low?
Like that bird, we all get off track sometimes, misplaced, confused about where we want to be, where we should be, what is truly important. We find ourselves someplace we never imagined, and we can get trapped there. Appearances, brands, numbers on the scale, on test results, on the scoreboard, or in our checkbooks distract us. We get tired and stressed, which confuses us and we start making bad, frantic decisions. But how do we get back on track, back to our true selves, our true reflections?
It’s easy, if we’re willing to take a deep breath, get our bearings and listen. God is opening doors and windows giving us fresh opportunities and new chances, shooing us to the openings, to the ways out of bad situations and into wide-open spaces. He’s talking to us saying, “Look over here!” We just need to listen.
And when we pull ourselves out of our heaps and fly to the beautiful places He’s providing for us, we can stop feeling scared, lost, overwhelmed, or incapable, and spread our beautiful wings and soar as He designed us to do.
Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you. Galatians 5:1
“All you need is love,” the Beatles sang to me when I listened to them non-stop in junior high.
“The greatest of these is love,” the Bible reminded me in 1 Corinthians 13 as I searched for answers and understanding of this life.
And they were both right. Only I didn’t know where to find love. So I looked in all of the wrong places. I searched for love in the form of approval – maybe if I got good grades I would be loved, if I got great grades I’d have an even better chance. I searched for love in the eyes of guys I dated—maybe if they thought I was pretty, or funny, or fun they’d love me, I’d be loved. I looked for love in my job—if I succeeded, did another deal, got another promotion my co-workers would respect me, my boss would be proud of me, and those things are kind of like love, aren’t they?
Kind of. But not really. Because all of those types of love slip through our fingers. They’re temporary. There will always be another test to take, another dance to find a date to, and another deal to land. Once the quick fix of approval is over, the buzz of being sought or appreciated dies down, so does the love. Where are you looking for love today?
There is one true love. A love so real, so true, and so fulfilling I can’t get my mind or arms around it. It is the love of Jesus. His love letter to us is the Bible. It starts with Him creating the world, a beautiful place for us to live, because He loves us. He created each of us, exactly how we are, no matter what are grades are, no matter what are relationship status is, no matter what size or shape we are, no matter how successful by worldly standards we are. God’s love letter goes on to explain what He’s done, what He will do for us. He’ll part seas for us. He’ll knock down walls for us. He’ll pull us out of fiery furnaces. He’ll slay our giants. And then, as if that weren’t enough to show us how deeply and completely He loves us—Jesus will take all of our imperfections and mistakes and wash them clean. I mean, who does that? Only someone who loves us utterly and unconditionally.
All the years that I searched for love on Valentine’s Day, that I longed for an extra special heart to be stuffed in my decorated box, or for flowers to be delivered at my door, or for Prince Charming to arrive on his white steed, I already had love all along, and so do you. Jesus loves you. He made you. He died for you. And He wants to be your Valentine.
And once we truly let that sink in, allow His love to flow over us, stop trying so hard and comparing ourselves to all the people and things we are not—that we were never intended to be—once we realize we were created to be exactly who we are, and that we are loved for our individual priceless unique selves, then we can feel the real love of God that completes us. And when we accept that true love, we can also begin to love ourselves, to see ourselves for our true lovely selves, see our true reflections. And once we know where to find true love, then we can realize love IS all we need and the greatest of these IS love.
I’d to hear your favorite Valentine’s recipes or traditions or your favorite parts of God’s love letter. Share in the comments section below.
I have coffee splatters on the console of my car and a smear of toothpaste on my bathroom counter. A drop of shimmery lavender nail polish marks the top of my planner. There’s a spot on my jeans that’s been there so long, I’m not sure how it got there, but my suspicions are it’s chocolate in one form or another. And then last night, somebody (no one will be named) dropped a piece of pizza on the living room carpet. Which happens to be white. With six of us running at full speed, our house is lived in, to say the least. The dropped pizza was no big deal. But I couldn’t let the red splash of tomato sauce just sit in the middle of the floor, so I dug under the sink for that carpet spray stuff. I read the back and sprayed and scrubbed and scrubbed a little more. And then I turned it around—reading the label, Spot Remover.
Which made me laugh, because yesterday morning when I’d washed my face and noticed the twin zits on the end of my chin, I’d gotten out a product called Super Spot Remover—the cleverly named zit gel I keep handy for just such occasions.
I am covered in spots!
But my spots aren’t just literal spots. I am also covered in spots you can’t see. Splatters when I yell at one of my kids instead of talking through a rough moment. Dribbles when I forget to bring the dessert or sign the form or write the check or text back. Giant globs when I recall how I tucked God under my pillow in college and did things my way instead of leaning on Him. Shameful spots for things I’ve done in my past. Stains as I struggle with a broken relationship. Big blobs whenever I doubt God’s perfect plans in the every day (how will I ever get everything done on my to-do list?) or in the big decisions of life (where should my daughter go to college?). I could go on. I am covered in so many spots inside and out that I resemble a leopard.
And although I use stain stick on my clothes, spot remover on my carpet and face, spray on my counters, there is no cool new product that can clean my inside spots. It’s like the animal in the children’s book, Put Me in the Zoo. He can change the color and size of his spots. He can put them on the wall or on a tree, “But then,” the animal says, “All my spots are back on me.” And I can smile and laugh and apologize. I can move forward and try to bury my past and doubts and insecurities and shame and guilt under the busyness of the week or the façade of having it all together. I can try harder, work more, do better, but in the end all my spots are back on me.
Or at least I used to think so. But I’ve discovered the ultimate spot remover. And it doesn’t come in a bottle, it never expires and it’s absolutely free. It’s having a relationship with Jesus. See, He scrubbed all of my spots clean. So clean, He who knows everything about me—all my breakdowns and blunders—completely forgives me and loves me and doesn’t notice those old spots at all.
But the fact is, it was our pains He carried--
our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us.
We thought He brought it on Himself,
that God was punishing Him for His own failures.
But it was our sins that did that to Him,
that ripped and tore and crushed Him--our sins!
He took the punishment, and that made us whole.
Through His bruises we get healed. Is 53:5
No more spots to stick in a box or on a tree. No more spots can come back on me. Or on you. Whatever our spots may be, whatever color or size they are, no matter where we’ve tried to stick them or how we’ve tried to change them, Jesus died so that all of my sins and yours, all of our mistakes and failures past, present, and future were nailed to the cross and washed completely clean. And with all of those spots removed once and for all, we can clearly see our beautiful true reflections.
Do you have any spots you're working on removing? I'd love to hear. Leave a comment on the Read More or Comments tab below.
How many times in the last few weeks have you asked someone, been asked by someone, or overheard someone asking, “Have you seen the new Star Wars movie?”
The original Star Wars, Episode 4, was the first movie I remember seeing in a movie theatre. I was in elementary school. And it was big and exciting and electrifying. As a girl who grew up with the record-breaking, crowd-drawing characters of Han Solo, Princess Leia, and Luke Skywalker, I felt compelled to go see The Force Awakens. Also I have two boys. Three, when you count my husband.
The movie didn’t disappoint. And the thing that struck me most about The Force Awakens wasn’t any of the action scenes, or the way old characters were integrated with new, or the special effects, but the evolution of a hodgepodge of apparent misfits into their true beautiful selves
Finn He’s a Stormtrooper. What could be more hated, despised, or disliked by our beloved Resistance characters and fans? Who would think he is valued? But when we look behind the mask Finn wears, we find a sensitive young man, who despite his station in life, not only senses the difference between right and wrong, but is willing to risk his life to avoid being a part of what he instinctively knows is the latter. Is there a mask you’re wearing? Hiding your true self from shining through?
Rey A junk scavenging young woman, who appears to be orphaned and abandoned by those she loved. Definitely wouldn’t have a huge Instagram following (look at this rusty old cog wheel I scavenged today). But this beautiful girl is tough as nails, nimble, determined, and a brilliant pilot, plus so much more. Her stunning eyes and smile intensify and brighten as she discovers her self worth, what she’s made of, and what she’s made for. Are you scrounging around trying to get by, or are you seeking ways to utilize your talents and gifts?
Han Solo Come on, do you think this girl who grew up drooling over Harrison Ford could leave him out? He’s a smuggler. In this installment, he’s a senior citizen smuggler. But as in all the other Star Wars films, we find this corrupt bandit has a surprising understanding of the Force and one of the most loyal hearts in the galaxy, endearing him to audiences for decades. Not to mention that lopsided smile. Are you misunderstood? Are you stuck in a rut of bad habits or seizing opportunities to make a difference?
Maz. This bizarre looking alien, who Han Solo describes as, “Maz is a bit of an acquired taste, so let me do the talking and whatever you do, don't stare.” But despite her wrinkled face, thin lips and costume-like goggles; Maz has sweet, loveable expressions that remind me of E.T., wisdom reminiscent of Mrs. Who, and a fab collection of bracelets. She is the ultimate encourager; pivotal in helping others find their true reflections. Do you take time to truly see others for who they are? To share your valuable insights to help them see their potential?
Each of these characters originally appears evil, worthless, selfish, or plain weird to outsiders, to their entire galaxy, until they find their purpose, their calling. And when they do, their beautiful true reflections dazzle us all the way home from the theatre. We are being called too. You and me. As Maz says, “The Force it’s calling to you. Just let it in.” God is calling you. He’s calling me. He’s calling right now. All we have to do is let Him in. And when we do, we can shake our brutal, ugly, dirtied pasts, overcome our scars and weaknesses, stand strong against those who persecute us, and evolve into the beautiful heroes and heroines He’s always designed us to be.
So have you seen it? Who was your favorite character? I’d love to know. Just click on the “Read more”/”Comments” tab below.
Once upon a time my wardrobe consisted of suits, practical dresses, and slacks (primarily purchased at Ann Taylor). Every week I’d fly to a swanky suburb of DC, grind out a day’s full of meetings in my business attire, then top off my day with carryout I’d devour back in my hotel prior to crashing. I’d begin the next morning with a run on the hotel treadmill only to dive back in again full force, wearing a sensible suit, of course.
If you know me, you might be puzzled. Who is that person I just described.
I was a product of the world I lived in. I’d gone to a well-respected university, graduated with my business degree, worked my way up the ladder of my corporate real estate firm, and bought into the outfits and lifestyle associated with it. I enjoyed my job, made good money, traveled, and worked with a great group of people. I’d always been told to “dress for success” and to “dress for the job I wanted to have, not the position I currently held.” And this was great advice. It IS important to wear clothing appropriate for your place in life—my army pants, Rasta belt and concert tees would have been a no-no at work. Out of respect, it was important for me to dress professionally. But I was so caught up in “looking the part” that I conformed 100% to the business attire expectations. I traded out the funky accessories and edgier styles I loved (and that would have been perfectly acceptable) for pulled back hair and tailored clothes. But it wasn’t me! It was like a version of me playacting. And so, my gypsy skirts and stacks of bracelets got pushed further and further back in my closet to make room for the costume I wore each day to fully get into character, to attempt to impress others.
I tried on a pair of those old slacks the other day. They were black, basic, classic. I thought they’d look nice with a cute top for a celebration I was attending. And they would look lovely on so many people I know. But, I couldn’t yank them off myself fast enough. Whose pants were these? They fit my body, but they didn’t fit me. I have loads of friends who thrive in the corporate world, who look stunning in suits, and Ann Taylor continues to sell lovely, well-manufactured clothes. But that’s never who I truly was. While trying to impress my boss and clients, I lost sight of my true reflection. You see, at heart, I’m a hippie chick.
I’m back to embracing that inner flower child—feeling more comfortable in my own skin, and my own clothes than ever. I got a hobo bag and bell-bottoms for Christmas. LOVE! I feel happy inside when I wear flowing blouses and dresses with flippy skirts, when I wrap myself in scarves, and when I let my crazy curls down. I feel pretty and at home and energized and like I’m exactly who I’m supposed to be.
Who are you? Who did God create you to be? What’s stopping you from being that person? From letting your true reflection shine?
Are you dressing up and playing the part the world dictates? Conforming to what your friends, your company, your team, or your neighbors are wearing? Are you doing the opposite of me? Dressing Boho, because your girlfriends are making their own granola and hanging around music festivals, even though you’d feel more at ease in a suit perfectly balancing numbers and ledgers in a row? Are you going Goth, because all the other artists and performers you hang out with are, even though you secretly wish your name was Muffy? Are you spiffing up, although more comfortable in athletic wear, or vice versa? Or are you embracing the style of your beautiful, amazing self?
Yes, there are times when appropriate attire is necessary. When a uniform is required to work, play, volunteer, march, etc. When we are more formal out of respect (weddings, funerals, meetings). When we dress down for functionality (gardening, cleaning, building). Hiking boots help us climb. Rain boots keep our feet dry. Riding boots protect our feet while on horseback. But when it’s just you, going about your daily routine, what are you wearing? Why? Are you a clone of the people around you? Or do you exercise your own God-given individual style? You are an original. Dress like it. You’ll feel as beautiful as you truly are.
What’s your absolute favorite article of clothing or personal style? I’d love to hear. Just click on the “Read More” tab/“Comments” below.
It started a few Mondays ago. I was grabbing the trashcans when something large and red and plastic caught my eye—a cracked toddler “baseball” bat. Since no one had played with it in years, I grabbed it and shoved it in our mammoth garbage can. Just a few feet from the broken bat was a toy lawn mower. Our youngest is nine. He'd have to hunch way over to reach the tiny push handle. I grabbed its soiled little self and pitched it too. Oh, and the Care Bear knee pads my seventeen-year old wore when she was learning how to ride a bike, a Frisbee with a chunk missing and two flat, size three soccer balls. And even though I was rolling two industrial sized rubbish containers to the curb I felt lighter than I had moments ago when I was empty handed. It felt great to get rid of all that crap. It was all so big and useless and taking up space.
The next Monday a woman in my yoga class approached me as we were rolling up our mats and explained she was doing a shoe drive. “Do you happen to have any outgrown shoes you could donate?” She came to the right lady. I went home and happily stuffed a shopping bag with outgrown, worn gym shoes. I topped it off with dress shoes that were sported for only one Easter or Christmas. The next time I went to yoga, I happily handed over my bag, feeling like I had handed over some of my burdens—the last minute rush of helping someone find their shoes before church, the chore of straightening the constantly haphazard shoe rack, the inconvenience of tripping over someone’s cleats. Fewer shoes equal less clutter.
I was on a roll. The next Monday I had a plan of attack, I liked the pattern of decluttering that was taking place on Mondays, and I wanted to keep it going. This time of year the feeling is especially top of mind as I think of all we have, all the shopping I'm doing, all of the stuff that will flow in the door at Christmas. I grabbed one of those plastic grocery bags (the ones I feel so guilty about the bagger putting two food items in when I forget my reusable bags) and pulled open the “everything drawer.” Make that one of our “everything drawers”, the one dedicated to small, miscellaneous toys. I placed inside one plastic Dora, three bouncy balls, a singular bean bag, a light up shamrock yoyo, a tie-dyed duck and several other "treasures", tied the handle of the bag, took it out and fed it to the hungry trash can eagerly awaiting its snack.
The next Monday, no lie, I got an email from a fellow soccer mom asking for donations of sweatshirts for the homeless. Her son was doing a clothing drive for his school. I was so on it. If we have too many of something in our house, it’s sweatshirts. It felt wonderful handing her that garbage bag full of warm, cozy hoodies for people who would otherwise be freezing this winter. I wish I could say that was the only buzz, but there was also the thrill of getting rid of more stuff. Lessening. Unloading.
You see there’s way too much stuff in my house, in my garage, IN MY LIFE. Bob Goff, author of Love Does, gives something up every Thursday. Well, my new mantra is to get rid of something every Monday.
But there’s also too much stuff in my head, on my heart, on my to-do list. And I need to declutter these areas in my life too. They are blurring my true reflection, getting in the way, blocking who I am and who I’m supposed to be. So I’ve decided to not only to get rid of a tangible something on Mondays, but also an intangible. I need to politely respond, "no," to the email asking me to stuff goodie bags, although it sounds like a blast, but I know I have a conflict. I also need to delete the email begging for coaches for the school basketball team, even though they are desperate for a volunteer, because I don't have time. Also, I cannot dribble. I need to toss the hundreds of “what if” scenarios my crazy brain plays out in a week…. "What if my daughter goes to that college seven hours away? What if my book proposal gets rejected? What if I run into that someone I was secretly trying to avoid?” All of those maybes aren’t worth fretting unless they actually happen.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil 4: 6-7 NIV
Which brings me back to today. I need to throw away a reoccurring fear I have in my life, knowing that God has conquered it once and for all, that there’s no need to go back to that frightened place, because God has rescued me from it.
Whew. It. Is. A. Process.
Just like clearing my house of all the junk we’ve accumulated after living here for fourteen years is a process. My garage and drawers and shelves are still full, but they’re getting a little cleaner, a little more manageable, bit-by-bit, week-by-week. And so is my heart. By turning over my concerns and worries and fears and time to God, and letting Him take over, bit by bit, day by day, my head and my heart and my calendar (wouldn't you like to free up some time this Christmas season?) are a little more manageable, a little less crowded too.
So, Monday’s coming up, and I’ve gotta figure out what I’m going to clear out. I don’t know what it’s going to be yet, but I know it will make more space in my home and in my heart.
What about you? Anything you need to clear out? You can start unloading now, by commenting below.
Laura L. Smith